Posted 6/4/2015 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
I just need to vent, I apologize in advance for being obnoxious and whiny.
I was fine all morning til my dumb self decided to google my elbow and jaw pain, in which I had neither til my anxiety started, and then my costochondritis, my anxiety then kicked in, and I felt my heart thump once and panicked, OF COURSE. duh, why wouldn't I? I was doing good until I had to stop my Zoloft due to side effects being terrible, I DO however see my dr on Monday, i'm hoping she can check out my elbows and jaw or atleast tell me if it has anything to do with my anxiety. and maybe get me on some new meds, I DO try things to stop my anxiety before resorting to taking my medicine, but most of the time for me, it doesn't work. I know therapy would work, but I have yet to call the number she gave me.. I guess I just wish I could stop googling things, its terrible.. and I know it is, yet I do it. then I panic terribly, because of course when I google those symptoms it comes up "heart attack" and heart palpitations and a murmur are what started my anxiety and my health anxiety, so it gets worse. I've had an echocardiogram and a 24 hour holter monitor, other than Mitral Valve Regurgitation, it came out good, my heart is healthy, and my palpitations have pretty much stopped, other than having some yesterday while working out in the lawn in the heat. I always try to remind myself that my tests came out good.. it doesn't always work... I went from being a "normal" 24 year old, mother of two, enjoying the smallest of things. to being the mom of two who is quiet, not wanting to do much and always feeling like crap.. I love to draw and paint, but now rarely do it. im an amateur photographer, and ive been out to take photos once in the last 10 weeks... instead of almost every day, I just want to get back to doing the things I love. and not always worrying im going to have a heart attack or something...
also, before I go.
I want to thank all of you on this forum, I started feeling better about everything after posting on here a few times and getting other peoples input and their experiences, it makes me feel less like im going crazy. so thank you, truly. i'm so happy I found this forum ( ironically by googling my symptoms ) and i'm happy I decided to become a member and not just go "eh" and skip it altogether.
thank you for "listening" to me whine and such.
i appreciate it.