Helping someone else with anxiety

Anything I am missing? I am prone to anxiety myself, and have some great coping mechanisms in place. Mindfulness and breathing have really help me move past it.

However, BF gets very upset about things,and reacts inappropriately. He does have some klonopin, and takes ti periodically, but does not practice any good management techniques. He takes ADs as well, and self-medicates with alcohol.

We have had several upsets in the past few weeks, where he has gotten caught up in the moment and then pushed me to the edge. I tell him that I am sorry, but unless he calms down we are not going to be able to talk about this issue. I will not let his fear push me to having an attack, so it really is a form of self-preservation. I usually have to repeat it a few times before he actually hears it. Then I disengage and walk away.

I want him to get a therapist, but everytime I bring it up he evades and sets up problems so that he doesn't have to do it. He fired his first and last one without telling me. He clearly is not happy like this, but I have no idea what to do now.

Suggestions, oh wise ones?

Thanks, Larry.

I think you are right. I know he is angry at himself for the drinking, and has done a few different things to try to stop. But, stopping often means acknowledging the problem, and he doesn't want to do that. When I bring it up, he gets angry, and this of course stops the conversation cold. It's a vicious cycle.

I am debating asking him if he wants to attend my therapist session on Thursday. He will either 1. get angry and refuse 2. get angry and accept or 3. get angry and throw me out. Any way I go, I think I lose. There is a small chance he will come with me.

Myself,

Unfortunately, unless you're a parent to a child, you are no one's keeper.

How many of your anxiety issues are tied to him? All?

10039-a lot, perhaps too much, if I am being honest.

SC and Lisa- my thanks for your thoughts. I am trying to not place blame for the situation,but to make things better, as best I can.

We have been together for 14 years this summer. I am on the job market, after two years, and have a reasonable hope that I might b getting a call soon for a job I like.

He has been flipping out for the past week or so, and his anxiety is driving my anxiety up. I have been playing meditation videos for much of the day (thanks Lisa!), but his negativity has me thinking negatively. That I screwed up, and that I failed, yet again. I don't think that is true, but it is hard to get it out of my mind.

It's hard to still that small voice.

Our phone doesn't have a good connection. My contact called yesterday but I missed it. It didn't record a message. I emailed today with my cell number and called his office, but nothing yet. Of course, I am telling myself this means bad news, that they are moving on. I keep telling that voice to hush up, and send out another application, start up another meditation video.

I am going to call again in ten minutes, and check and see if he is in his office yet.

Left another voice mail message. I am trying to remain calm.

I have sent my therapist (who luckily I am seeing on Thursday!) a message and hope to hear from her soon.

One big issue is that I don't think I can handle bf and his angst if I don't have anything to report when he gets home. That won't be for three hours, but it does matter in the long run.

I also find it very frustrating that his response about a prospective job for me is to be negative about it, enough so that I will have to go somewhere else in order to keep his energy from pulling me under the waves. Yeah, that's bad.

Thinking about you Myself!

Hugs!

Bummer, I was hoping with everything I had for you, but as SC said, one door closes and another opens. I have no doubt that your perfect job is looking for you.