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Anxiety all day *vent*

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 6/13/2015 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone,

This is more of a vent than anything else.

I have been having a lot of anxiety the last week. I had a break yesterday in the morning which was nice but then I saw a story on the news and that went out the window. It was about a heart condition that is actually quite common and It can only be diagnosed with an heart ultrasound. I have had all the heart tests except that so I completely freaked out and have been on edge ever since. I know you will say to go to your doc and ask about it or whatnot but I don't have a doc at the moment. I'm in between GPs and I can't get in to even meet the new doc until july 9th so I can't go to a doc. That's one part of the story.

My upper back pain is back with a vengeance. I have had xrays mris and they have all come back normal. So they say it's muscular but it hurts to take all deep breath and when It gets really tight I feel short of breath. Of course this sends my anxiety through the roof.

So ya basically I have had anxiety of some level all day today. It will be on a low simmer and then ramp up for like 20-30 minutes and then go back to a simmer. Add the pain and I'm a mess. I haven't left the house in over a week so then I worry about exercise and my heart health. But exercise of any kind just makes my back worse which then makes anxiety worse etc etc. What am I supposed to do? This does sound like anxiety right? I feel spent from my body being constantly 'on' all day. I try to keep myself preoccupied but that only helps to a point. I probably need meds but like I said I have to wait until at least july.

I know it is less than most of you on here are dealing with but it is ruining my quality of life and I'm 24. I haven't worked in over a year. I have one course to finish to get my university degree and I just can't function well enough to do it. I live with my boyfriend who pays the rent and for food with my parents helping out on occasion. I need to get my life going. Not just with the anxiety but with the supposed fibromyalgia they say I have and my heart which always feels like it's going to quit even though they say it's perfectly healthy for my age.

Sorry i just needed to get this out. I usually vent on the fibro page when needed but the anxiety Is driving this more than the pains the last week. I just don't know what to do anymore. Everyone around me is living their lives and I'm just literally sitting still in fear and it isn't fair. I know it's up to me to get help or to work through it but it just isn't that easy. I try hard everyday and if I make a little progress then my body revolts and I go backwards 10 steps. I can't afford therapy and my parents can't either. Doctors keep telling me there Is nothing wrong yet I can't function. Doctors appointments are months and months apart while taking their sweet time trying to help me.

Anyways I'm way off topic now. Sorry for the long vent. Don't feel like you have to comment. I have been through all the resources you guys have provided and I appreciate everything and the community has helped me with thus far. I just needed to vent. I can feel some of the tension ebbing already.
Posted 6/13/2015 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jumper,

I am really sorry you are dealing with this worry currently.:( I know what a fight it is...how exhausting, and how it brings one's overall mood down to deal with fear such as this.

One tool is to look at the likelihood or probability of your concern.

Is is realistic to think that you have the one heart condition, for the one test that you have not received?

Or is it more likely that you are experiencing anxiety that is encouraging you to focus on the one issue that is unknown to you?

Accepting that this condition could happen...but probably is NOT the case for you should help.

We can't be sure of many things, but we can work on using coping skills to manage our runaway fears.:)

Check out our Resources for a couple of new ideas today. Maybe the thought challening worksheets? Or a meditation video will help.

With understanding,

S.C.
Posted 6/14/2015 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling like this, I agree with everything SC said. It is highly unlikely that you have that one condition, but talk to your doctor to reassure you about it if you need too.

Have you checked out these links? They are free programs that you work at your pace
Free on-line CBT programs:

www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome



Also are you in the states? Alot of counties have mental health centers and go off a sliding scale fee, it's likely that you could be seen for free.
Posted 6/14/2015 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi,

Thanks for your help. It's true I probably don't have the condition it is just I saw that and like you said I focus on it and my mind runs with it.

Scaredy cat, I just saw the thread you posted with those worksheets. I just glanced at them but they look like they might be very useful so thank you. I subscribed to the thread.

AngelLisa I will check out you our links as well thank you.

I forced myself to go for a short walk. I felt unsteady and pains all over flared up but I just focused on getting to my destination and back and getting some fresh air and I can report that my anxiety has been tired out so to speak. Now if the back pain and other aches would have eased instead of worsened it would have been great but I will definitely take what I can get lol.

And no I'm in Canada and I have asked multiple doctors and I was surprised to hear that there is no government covered therapy. There is free therapy offered to students at the university but I'm not a current student so I can't use it obviously. So I'm on my own until I get the courage to go back to school or get healthy enough to work or find some doctor to sign off on the disability forms (so far 3 for 3 won't do it because they either say there is nothing wrong or they say I can get better if I do what they say which I would do if I had the money to get physical therapy and massages and botox injections but I don't, such a never ending circle).

Anyways, I sure do ramble. My boyfriend has heard it all (but he still listens anyways) my parents don't want to deal with any emotions and my friends have all run away so that leaves the forums :) well off to bed before 2 am tonight....I hope. Thank you.
Posted 6/14/2015 10:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Jumper

How you feeling today?

You received some good support from SC and AL and the links they gave are definitely worth checking out and Mindfulness Meditation may be something you would find useful as it works well for anxiety, depression and chronic pain.

Sorry to hear you have a bad back I also suffer with a chronic back condition which affects my whole spine and neck so no how that can have an effect on your anxiety and depression. What I have found is that there is a direct link between anxiety and pain and the more anxious I feel the worse the pain gets so I do all I can to reduce my anxiety and find that then helps reduce the pain.

Mindfulness takes a while to get into but the benefits are amazing so it well worth the time and effort you will find lots of videos on youtube just type mindfulness meditation into the search engine.

No need to apologise feel free to vent here any time we are here to listen and support you.

Hibee
Posted 6/14/2015 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
I have terrible upper back, neck and shoulder pain brought on by anxiety. The only thing that has helped(other than reducing my anxiety) is therapeutic massage. It worked wonders for me!
Posted 6/14/2015 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
Well I just woke up hehe. But I didn't get to sleep until after 2 again. So now I'm a zombie but that's ok.

Pain wise, it is bad. How can I have so much pain in my upper back with no apparent cause? See I get anxious after the pain or whatever kicks in. I know that anxiety makes pain worse but why is the pain occurring in the first place? That's what gets me anxious, ugh.

Anxiety wise, it is still on simmer but manageable for now. I'm sure it will get going as the day goes on and I start thinking again. Too tired to think right now. The only time I don't have pain or think or worry about my heart or whatever is when I'm asleep. So I love sleeping, I can relax and all my problems ebb away and I feel human again...until I wake up lol. I get the occasional panic attack that wakes me up but I go back to sleep in 20-30 minutes after.

Well, thanks everyone. I will be back on later if my anxiety acts up again. I will probably be back on anyways but I will post if it gets bad again.
Posted 6/15/2015 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
I know the pain you are going through I have had anxiety and panic attacks for almost 10 years and its horrible!

Some days are better than other, I remember when it was so bad I almost thought about killing myself but I know that is not the answer.

I found something that has helped me out quite a bit and although my anxiety is not 100% fixed It is much more tolerable than it used to be.

Take a look at anxiousreview . com when you get the chance, its a good read.

Hope I was helpful :)
Posted 6/15/2015 2:53 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome SarahsLife to Healing well anxiety forum, I'm happy you found us but sorry you are dealing with anxiety and panic attacks.

Please feel free to make a New thread introducing yourself so people can welcome you, just tell us alittle about yourself and your life with anxiety.

just a FYI, I looked for the page you suggested and it doesn't come up on a google search.
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