Anxiety home alone, partner on a trip

Hi there.
I'm new here, sorry if I make any mistake.
I will make a quick recap to explain myself better.
I've been suffering from anxiety since my early 20s, now I'm in my early 30s.
Two months ago my grandma died and we are having lot of family troubles.
Today my partner went on a family trip that will at least last 5 days.
I wasn't really sure how I was going to cope with that, but for the last hours I've been feeling sad and very nervous. I think I'm having an anxiety attack, or sort of.
I found myself thinking that I'm all alone, and feeling scared, even thinking about getting old and death and having to spend my old life all alone.
I know this is an anxiety attack, that all this is not rational. But even when forcing myself to do things, I find it very difficult.
I've always been independent, when living with my parents it was a time I had this problem, but got over it. But now that I've been living with my partner for more than a year, it seems I got really used to it. And I don't know how to cope with all this.

Hi Daria. Welcome. I'm sorry you are struggling, and feeling so nervous about being alone.

I was in the same boat a week ago, because my husband had to be gone, and I was a mess the entire time.

I got through it by keeping busy, and by depending on the great people here. It's amazing how much it helps to have a community of kindred spirits to vent to. It also helps to support others going through similar situations.

Keep posting, and tell us more about your situation. As Lisa said, we can better help if we know more about you.

Hi Daria

Welcome to the forum I am pleased you have found us as you can see you will get good support here from the members.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandma and family trouble this can be a trigger to anxiety. I would suggest you make an appointment with your doctor and tell them how you are feeling and see what they suggest.

The good news is lots can be done to help such as taking medication or doing some type of talking therapy such as CBT or Mindfulness Meditation.

In the meantime have a look at our resources thread which you will find on the main page first post for some useful links to self help guides.

Stay with us and keep posting.

Hibee

Thank you for the replies.
Asking some of the questions, I do go to therapy, I see my doctor once per month, so I still have almost two weeks until my next appointment.
As for the medication, my doctor gave me this:
Pristiq (50mg morning), Alprazolam (0,25 mg morning + 0,25 mg at night), Diazepam (2,5mg at night).
Plus sometimes I take capsules of Valerian, Passionflower and Hawthorn if I feel very anxious at night.
Sometimes I feel insecure about taking these, because I feel like I shouldn't have to take any drugs, but then, I would get very sad and anxious and I feel I'm wrong, and I'm a failure. I can't stop thinking I will have to take medication all my life, and I feel a failure because of that.
Also, when I feel the worst, when my anxiety its worst and feel more miserable it's at night.

Daria Flux, SC gave you great example of why we need medication, but I'll tell you my short story. :)

I used to think like you, I felt I was a failure cause I had to take medication. My doctors told me 30 years ago I would probably always need to be on medication, well I was only 18 at the time and stubborn and wanting to prove all those doctors wrong.

I went the next 25 years years, going on and coming off AD's. I would take them and start to feel better and think, Wow I feel great I don't need the pills anymore, and low and behold wouldn't you know it. Within months I was back down in the dumps. I did this for 25 YEARS!!!

Eleven years ago I lost my husband and fell in the deepest depression I had ever been in, in my life. I thought about going back on medication but I felt my misery was my pay back for my husband dying (long story) and so I suffered for 5 years in a deep depression.

Then my grandson was born and my life changed, I went back on AD's and told myself I would never go off them again. I KNOW that I will need to be on some kind of AD for the rest of my life, I have accepted it as a fact. I Know it is hard to think you'll always need them, but the faster you accept it and realize like SC said if it was any other illness, diabeties, cancer, BP issues, you would take medication for that daily for the rest of your life. A AD isn't any different. :)

Hello,

You're not alone. Look at all of the responses you're getting :)

Thanks a lot for all the replies, I'm happy I decided to post here.
Today I work the evening shift, (it's been four days working the morning and the day shift), so I'll try to have the day for myself, relax a little.
I'll take a look at the resources post.
Thanks a lot for being so kind :)

I'm happy you joined us too, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, so keep on posting regardless if it is to ask a question or simply to vent, or even share a positive story. :) I hope you can have a relaxing day today. Keep on working it, it works!

I'm glad your partner is home but sorry he is making demands, remember to set healthy boundaries. If you can't do something state you can't do it and don't feel guilty about it. You need to take care of yourself too and you've already worked 6 days in a row, that is alot and your partner needs to understand that.

Keep on posting, we are here for you.