Narcisistic mother makes my anxiety worst.

Long story short. I live 40 minutes away from my parents, the only time they come visit is when I have Christmas at my house and the rest of the family is here. I have asked my mother to come visit me so many times I have lost count, her excuses are she is too tired, no money, etc etc. I even offered to pay for her gas. Every week she texts me and asks me to come see her, even though I have explained to her that I can't because it is too hard taking my adult wheelchair bound son with me because he is heavy and I can't do it alone.  For those who dont know,

Im a full time caregiver so my son doesn't have to be in a group home.

What hurts me the most is I see on facebook how her and my dad go two states away and visit my brother and his family all the time. Last saturday I saw on facebook that they were at my other brothers house and his family who live 10 minutes away from me. They never came to see me and my son and husband, I haven't seen them since last Christmas at my house. Yesterday I texted my mother and told her that I saw they were visiting my brother who lives 10 minutes away and why didn't they come ss us that it really hurt me. Her response was, " why do you talk to me like that I'm your mother you don't know what hurt is". She also kept texting me about the many excuses she had for not coming over.

This is nothing new with her, what confuses me is when she says how much she misses me and loves me? Really? My anxiety is so bad and today I know she will harrasse me to no end via text messages about how hurt she is.

{{{{Deb}}}}} I'm so sorry your mother is this way, but sadly I don't think things will change, she is older and set in her ways. She should of at least stopped by your house when she was at your brothers to do nothing but simply say hi, I don't know why she didn't but I'm sorry.

My mother yesterday was suppose to go to my brothers and sister in laws for dinner, I went to the beach with my son so I wasn't here. But I guess she thru a fit cause she asked my father to help put her shoes on and he made kind of a face, so she thru a fit and said obscene words and said she wasn't going. My sister in law and a friend of my moms came back over to get her and she thur out the f bombs at them and said no she wasn't going, so she stayed home moping. She was on the war path all day yesterday. And the worse part is I live with my parents cause I'm disabled and have no income at the moment. :(

I hope your mom doesn't text you all day making you feel worse, try to let it go and know that you are a great person. :)

D.S.,

Sorry you are feeling hurt.:(

Trying to understand or find reason when dealing with a narcissist is the equivalent to banging one's head against a wall...

...without help that is.

Have you read any of the books for children/loved ones afflicted by narcissm?

There are some really good ones, that have helped many people gain insight...and avoid much of the hurt this causes.

I can do some digging and post some suggestion if you like...

Hugs,

S.C.

Thank you Blu's mama. That was sweet