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Posted 6/29/2015 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi all

Today marks the end of my 3 week long term break and the start of school again. I'm not going to lie I'm feeling an amount of dread and fear because everything was so bleak and hopeless before the term break. This break allowed me to see things in clarity and perspective again and I finally felt like myself as I clawed my way back with meditations, journaling etc.

This morning as I was preparing myself for school I found my mind subconsciously sourcing for the familiar fearful/anxious/negative feelings I always had before the break and then concluding that it's always going to be this way for as long as I'm schooling. School has almost become a symbol of fear for me since that's all I felt every single day.

I have to remember that I am now REFORMED and armed with a different set of skills though.

I wanted to get this out there thanks for being here :)
Posted 6/29/2015 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
That's tremendous how you were able to bring yourself back into the right mindset. Just goes to show that doing this work you did does pay off. I know what your talking about when you say that your mind was just automatically "going there". I too, have to remind myself about my coping skills I have and the fact that I can work through it. I just can't wait for the day to come where these thoughts wont come anymore and be rid of panic for good. But, we are in a process of re-teaching our brain and it's signals and messages it gets. It takes time for this healing and patience is definatley a virtue here.

Good work and good luck with school.
Posted 6/29/2015 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
Breathe,

I live this every Sunday in dread of Monday. Back in my school days, I had the same feelings on Sundays. In retrospect, I suppose I just do what I have to do and TRY to make the best of it. Easier said than done. Do you at least enjoy what you study?
Posted 6/29/2015 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Linda

Thanks for the encouragement! Yea I believe time and patience is key when fighting these battles. We need to keep training ourselves to "bounce back" from negativity/setbacks of any sorts. Comforting to know we share similar thought patterns.. I can't wait to be free too.

Hi John

Yea I'm trying my very best right now to stay positive and ease into things. Hm in a way yes, Im studying what I chose but as a science student it can get pretty heavy + there's math involved I don't fancy math lol. But it's ok Im in lesson now just received a distinction on one of my papers phew one thing good today already! Besides that my head feels achey + dizzy it's getting on my nerves Zz not feeling too good physically.
Posted 6/29/2015 2:19 AM (GMT 0)
As long as you're breathing you're okay! Haha
Posted 6/29/2015 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Rei!!

Yay we R alive we R not dead we can type and fight and support each other. How are you??
Posted 6/29/2015 4:49 AM (GMT 0)

You said it yourself...and it makes a GREAT mantra to take back with you!!

"I have to remember that I am now REFORMED and armed with a different set of skills.".

 

Yep, you go back a different person, in terms of ability to manage your anxiety...

You are stronger now than ever before...and can handle anything that comes your way.:)

Keep repeating your mantra, and envsioning yourself confident, and everything going really well upon your return!

Keep us posted...we are cheering you on.:)

S.C.

Posted 6/29/2015 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you SC!! Your words are always extremely encouraging to read. Today I took a giant leap and did something brave. Although the process set my heart pounding like I was on a rollercoaster, I got through it and the after effects of adrenaline was so refreshing.


Hope you're having a nice day :)
Posted 6/29/2015 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Breathe,

I fancy math as I would a kick in the junk, so I get it. All you're feeling sounds like nerves/anxiety. You got this.
Posted 6/29/2015 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hey bnr!

Im great! Haha. Pressure's on for my exam. Meditating and listening to classicals every hour to relieve stress!

Hope you have been fine!
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