I find it so easy to support, and advise others on their issues. I'm sure it feeds my need to fix things.
Why of why do I have so much trouble following my own advice?! I cut my dose of clonazepam in half, because my confusion is worse than before. Well, now my anxiety is a little higher than when I was on the full dose. I know I need to take the full dose right now, because of all I'm going through. I'm just so hyper vigilant of my body, looking for side-effects of both new meds I'm on. So many of them have cross over side-effects, and some of my physical limitations cause those symptoms anyway, so how the heck will I know?!
I know why I'm feeling more anxiety right now. It has to do with a family member who I have allowed to weedle into my life on past occasions, and then that person does something to purposely cause me hurt. That person offers support, and then gets jealous because I'm the center of attention, and so can't handle that, and causes chaos. I've let it happen over and over! This person wants to come stay during my upcoming medical procedure.
I studied psychology in college, because of these life experiences. It's what I wanted to do professionally, and I'm constantly psychoanalyzing myself. I tell myself, this is why you feel this way, so just put it back in it's box, and you'll be fine. I'm just not ready to
open the darn box!
I know I will be adding a minimum of 2 doctors to my already long list soon, so going to therapy is just one more thing I'd have to fit in. I'm not sure I can handle it right now.
I better go take the other half of that darn pill.
