Posted 7/27/2015 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
A few weeks ago, I posted about my dad and his drug addiction/alcoholism issues. Last night was his birthday, and my mom and I threw him a party at her house (they've been divorced for 10-ish years now), and they're on relatively great terms despite their split. I called my uncle (my dad's brother) a few weeks ago and requested that he come down from his hometown in Northern CA to visit my dad for his birthday, because I thought some familial interaction, besides myself, would be good for him. My mom and I put together a beautiful birthday dinner and cooked for my uncle, my aunt, my dad, and my girlfriend. My dad hasn't been the same in about six years. He's not the father I grew up with. He's not the daddy I used to have fun with. And that all became very apparent last night. He couldn't sit down for more than 3 minutes at a time without getting up from all the nervous energy (and here I was thinking I was the panicky one). He was twitchy. He was irritable. He barely touched his food. Barely interacted in conversation with the family. Barely made eye contact. Looked physically uncomfortable to even just sit there.
He naturally left his party earlier, leaving my uncle, my aunt, my mom, my girlfriend and myself to just sit around the table and talk. It's amazing how different my uncle and father are. In talking to my uncle, I got a glimpse and small memory of how my dad used to be. It was nice, but it was also very sad.
In many ways, I guess I am mourning the loss of who my father used to be, as I try my hardest to accept and be patient with the man he is today. I don't even know if rehab would work at this point, or an intervention. According to my uncle who is staying with my dad at his house while he's in town, says that his behavior seems pretty permanent.
Sigh.
Just wanted to vent about that.