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How to stop analyzing?

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Posted 7/29/2015 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
I am nuts. I still keep thinking about what happened 3 months ago...regarding the 'end' of a relationship. I am analyzing what he said...what he did and what I said and did...and trying to figure out why it didn't go well. I know it's stupid to keep thinking why things didn't work out ...sometimes we don't know and we can't figure out why things turn out the way it did. RIGHT? This is just a waste of time and energy but it's very human to try to figure things out. I'm a perfectionist and will continue to analyze things untill I find an answer. Otherwise I become obsessed. I NEED answers to everything. This time all I can do is GUESS. I cannot go back in time and 'fix' anything. How do I let go of something that there is no answer to?
I really need help.
Posted 7/29/2015 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mel,

I am sorry this continues to be so hard.:( I understand the need to analyze things...as I have similar patterns...especially in terms of relationship issues.

For me...and this is JUST me...even if I do come up with answers as to why things turned out the way that they did...my mind is not satisfied, perhaps because it is not the answer I wanted to arrive at.

Sometimes there is no arrival at a comforting resolution or insight...and accepting that distracting ourselves from those thoughts and ruminations about 'why' is the best course.

If I am way off here...just ignore me ;p...like I said this is just my personal experience.

The therapy worksheets here may be of some help to get you either working through...or distracted from your most nagging thoughts.

http://www.get.gg/freedownloads2.htm


Peace and progress,

S.C.

Posted 7/29/2015 6:50 PM (GMT 0)
SC, you are right. I am like you too. No it is not just you lol. :)

My mind isn't satisfied either...I guess. I will never be satisfied because it is not the answer I want. But knowing there is at least an answer...does give me relief and it helps me move on. I do not know where to find that answer..it could be from someone's advice...or perhaps I just come to a sudden realization.
Posted 7/29/2015 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
Many thoughts and prayers that you do...and that you find some peace in that place...comfort, and feeling of being able to move on soon...

S.C.
Posted 7/30/2015 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
This is where I'm my own worst enemy. Overthinking, and analyzing things to death!

I used to read to escape my mind, but my eyes give me so much trouble these days that it's hard for me to read more than a page or two. Grrr

Maybe I will look into the worksheets.
Posted 7/30/2015 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Mel,
Sometimes the best way to stop over-analyzing and over-thinking is to redirect your energy elsewhere. Like in worksheets, coloring, exercise, finding a new hobby that you can dedicate time to everyday. I know how hard it is--believe me. There's a book by Melody Beattie called The Language of Letting Go, and a quote in there is "Today, I will watch myself and listen to myself as I go through my day. I will not judge myself for what I’m feeling; I will accept myself.”
In this situation, breathe into the discomfort. Accept the feelings as they are. Accept that you may never get the answers you so desperately seek. But be gentle with yourself as you are learning to accept. And during your acceptance, make sure you're always taking care of yourself, too.
Posted 7/31/2015 3:53 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for your support.


Blu's Mama,
Yes, I've been very busy with work and social gatherings...but that doesn't stop me from going back to thinking about it. After a busy day, I take a shower, do some aromatherapy and lie on my bed...and start thinking about it again. So yes, I have done everything to take my mind off of 'it'.

I will definitely check out the book you recommended.
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