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Why was I born the black sheep?

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Posted 8/9/2015 3:57 PM (GMT 0)
I already know that I have a very self centered mother who was never there for me, I already know that my step dad her husband was never there for me. I already know that my half siblings have nothing really to do with me. But darn it today I find out that even my real father told my aunt that he doesn't want her asscociating with me because he is married and doesn't want his new wife knowing about me. Why was I born? Do you know what it feel like to be a out cast? My depression has hit a wall and now I feel like nothing really matters. So what I have anxiety and symptoms, so what if my body has a disease. So what.
Posted 8/9/2015 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
D.S.

Are you kidding me?? Your dad is trying to keep his new wife from knowing about his children? That is one of the craziest things I have ever heard!

This is not a reflection on you...it is simply some ill conceived plan hatched up by your dad...that does not even make sense!

Please don't internalize this...any of this.

Your family sounds like it has its share of issues, and you are better off outside of the dysfunction.

I would encourage you to keep on with your recovery...and focus on your immediate family...your husband and children.:)

You are above all of this. Guard your heart, turn the other direction, and start walking!

S.C.
Posted 8/9/2015 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks S.C,  I feel like they are all toxic, and it really makes me wonder why, why all of them?
Posted 8/9/2015 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
HI,

I feel the same way about my family. I feel like they all hate me and it makes me feel like I cannot do anything right in their eyes.

I have quit trying. I am pretty close with my mother but even she gets mad at me when I don't do what she wants. *shrug*

The whole situation is really hard.
Posted 8/9/2015 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
Well, like the saying goes...you can't choose your family...and some people just don't win the lottery in that respect.:(

I am sorry...I know how hurtful this must be. I know it's a lot easier said than done, to just walk away. It is more complicated than that of course...

...but you can set boundaries to keep yourself as protected as possible. Do you ever talk with your therapist about this? Does she/he have any good input for you?

If not, there are good self help books for dealing with difficult family dynamics...ever looked into those?

S.C.
Posted 8/10/2015 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
The black sheep can also be seen as the one who got away. The one who jumped out of the barnyard pen of dysfunction. See yourself that way.

<3 and understanding.
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