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Relationships and gut feelings

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Posted 8/13/2015 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
I have been seeing a councelor about my anxiety and also about relationships and in almost every session she tells me that I don't give men a chance (LOL, yeah right.) and that I should stop building walls around my heart. Now she doesn't know about all the relationships I have been in throughout my life. How the hell does she know my decisions were wrong? I trust my instincts and gut feelings when making decisions and in most cases I am right and I never regret it. For me, 'respect' is the most important factor in any type of relationship or friendship and if the other person can't treat me with respect, why do I even need to bother being with them? I see no point. To me, men should not be violent, selfish or arrogant towards any woman. Am I wrong? If I felt that a guy was being disrespectful and selfish, why should I pursue a further relationship with him? I know no one is perfect (including me) but I think I have a right to decide what is good or bad for me? When you make decisions, do you 'listen' to other people, or do you go with your gut instinct?

Girls? Ladies? Your input please.

Thanks. :-)
Posted 8/13/2015 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Mel,

I can say that I believe a lot of our perceptions are on a gut level!

I knew in my heart that my first husband was not a right choice...unfortunately, I did not listen, and allowed pressure (guilt) to force me into a misguided decision.

...with my second marriage, and though I was still young, I knew that it was the right decision.

I don't even think that I consciously knew or recognized all of the core/key attributes/values that my now husband possesed...

...because I did not even see them come into play really, until later...when we were going through certain situations...

...but my gut knew they were there!

So for me, yes...call it instinct, female intuition, gut feelings, whatever...I believe it is very valid.

Just my experience. I encourage you to keep talking about these things with your therapist, and gleen from your sessions what is positive and applicable...

...but ultimately, you know yourself best, and must make your own decisions! :)

S.C.
Posted 8/14/2015 7:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much SC. Lots of great advice there. Therapists and counselors are helpful but I guess we all need to choose what feels right for ourselves. I just didn't like how she continued to tell me that I'm not making any progress because I am too afraid to get hurt that I tend to choose the safest path and avoid taking risks. I certainly would take risks if I believe I could benefit from the situation. What's wrong with weighing the pros and cons right?
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