A Few Things Continued...

Well, I told my mom tonight I was deferring from school. I came home from work and she had made dinner, and I immediately broke out into a rash. Darn anxiety. She asked what was wrong and I blurted out that I wasn't going back. Initially she replied with: "You don't have a choice." And when she thought about what she was saying (and how ridiculous it sounded) she remained silent for a few minutes before proceeding to tell me she was disappointed, and that I was making a "huge huge huge" mistake. She then proceeded to go into a rant about how much a college educated person vs a non-college educated person makes annually, how I'm wasting so much talent, and so on. As much as I wanted to remind her that I was deferring and not quitting, I got choked up on my words and remained silent. I then wrote her an email, as I can better express myself in writing than I can in person sometimes.
A weight is lifted off of my shoulders, but her response makes me sad. The last thing I ever want to be is a disappointment.

I'm so sorry, Blu. I'm sure she is disappointed at the loss of what she had imagined for you. That doesn't make you a disappointment, and she probably regrets that already.

We always want the best for our children, and sometimes it's hard to realize that our image of "best" isn't always our child's image of "best". It is hard, and takes so much strength to let our kids learn their own life lessons, and follow their own path.

We've been guiding them from the time they were born, so it's hard to let go. She will come around. You did the right thing.

In the end, she loves you, and wants you to be happy. She just doesn't know how to accept it all yet. Hang in there.

Sophie,

Hi, honey. Firstly, I'm proud of you for putting it out there. Hey, you went in expecting the response she gave, right?

Remember our private conversation and revert to it.

Just to help others that might be in the same boat... I was close to finishing college and I dropped out toward the end. 20 or so years of constant schooling is taxing on an individual. I saw what the real world was like, saw I didn't like it and I then finished school on my own terms. Financially, this move was ignorant, but I had matured so much when I went back. It isn't doing me a ton of good, but I did finish.

Your mother is 'right' to a degree, but she's mixed up. A high school diploma means nothing, a bachelor's means what a high school diploma used to, and the new trend is getting your masters.

I echo what others have said and what I already said in our conversation. She means well, but only Sophie knows what's best for Sophie.

All my love.

Blu's,

You pretty much said it all, right there...in your last statement.

Of your dad continues to voice his opinion, you can respectfully say that while you love him, and understand his point of view...

You are not asking for his input.

I am glad to hear that your mom is easing up on her reaction...I had a feeling she would.:)

Thanks for the update, and talk soon...

S.C.

Happy for you about your mom coming around. I thought she would after she gave it some thought.

I agree with SC about your dad. Maybe just don't accept calls from the GF. Support the Dad as much as possible as long as he is helping himself, but otherwise, remind him that he's in a glass house.