Well hello....

Hello dear HW friends!! I haven't been around lately because, well, I've been feeling pretty good! I had the summer off and that helped my anxiety and stress A TON!! I knew once school started up again that I might need some more support, and that is definitely going to be the case. Today was day one back and I'm already a mess.

It makes me so depressed to go from feeling relatively good ( I still had my anxiety problems here and there, but overall pretty manageable) to how I feel today. I've been having a ton of palps, which has convinced me that at any moment I'm going to drop. I have been having horrible thoughts all day. I'm going to die at any moment. Seriously, nearly every moment today was spent worrying that this would be "it". So, now not only is my anxiety in over-drive, I'm super depressed to be back feeling like this again.

I also have a lot of trouble in the fall and winter, so heading into those seasons isn't helping. I feel so hopeless when the days get shorter and the coldness starts to creep in. I always feel so much better in the summer when it is bright and warm. Plus, I just turned 40. Ugh, this is just the worst time.

I guess I just had to get some of this off my chest. I'm trying so hard to keep all these feelings away and keep the good feelings from the summer going, but it's not working. I was able to get out and walk/run every day during the summer and that helped me immensely!! Now, I'm stuck at my desk all day and even when I might get a chance to get some exercise, my heart and breathing is so bad that I don't even feel like I am capable. I hate being back here again. Thanks for listening...

Hi MG,

It is good to have you back here...although not for the reason you have returned...which is challenging anxiety coming back! :( Sorry to hear about this.

I too dislike the changing of the seasons into Fall and Winter, and have to really use my coping skills to draw out a 'sunny disposition' during bleak weather/dark nights!

The good news? If you had a nice repreive from your anxiety issues during the Summer...

...you can find that positive place again. It is not about the circumstances (school, pressure, weather) as much as it is your reaction to them.

Of course stressors contribute to our anxiety...but we can change our outlook regarding them, and battle the negative thoughts and feelings.

Changing our perspective on things can make a world of difference...

Yes, school is stressful...but you are getting close to being finished...and look how far you've come, and never gave up!!!

Yep, I am grieving Summer leaving as well...but try to think of all the things I am grateful for that the Fall and Winter bring. (even if it is just to make me appreciate a sunny day all the more!)

Being 40 is awesome!! You know who you are, what you want...and for the most part have the means to get it! You can be confident and speak your mind, because you've earned it! I could go on...;p

You are going to be alright. Things are a little daunting right now with the start up of school...but I've not doubt you will handle it like a champ!

We are here to keep you encouraged, so keep posting, okay?

S.C.

Hi Cat- Nice to meet you! :) I have tried beta blockers....it helps with my high heart rate, but not so much with the palps.

SC- thanks, as always! You are right about my reaction to things...I'm trying to be aware of that too. It makes a big difference how I react to things, and sometimes my reaction isn't great!

Beth- I like the tropical vacation idea!! Hope you're doing ok!

Thanks John....you're totally right. I do need to spin it and look at the positives. It's hard to do sometimes...especially when you're used to looking for the bad things in a situation. I'm going to try though. Hope you're doing ok...