Unsure *long*

Hey everyone,

So I'm going to rant a bit and ask some questions of you guys. I know you aren't doctors but I can't get into mine for 2 weeks so you guys are my best shot to hopefully ease my mind a bit.

So quick background for those who forget or don't know me. I'm 24 female, been 'sick' for 3 years this month. Doctors can't find anything wrong. I have had all the heart tests numerous times, mris, ultrasounds, enough blood work to create a new human with, etc. All they can come up with is an undetermined type of arthritis ( trying pills to see what sticks), fibro and anxiety mostly health related.

So I seem to get a revolving door of symptoms, one week it will be my heart, one week will be headaches, one month will be achiness, etc.

Well this week seems to be relatively new... I keep getting these feelings for like a Milla second that I'm losing control of my body. Most seem to occur in my head/neck area and others happen in my arms, legs etc. Now it is really hard to describe it is almost like a twitch but I don't know. It's not painful at all and it is extremely brief but it makes me feel unsettled. Mostly happens in the evening when I am my most anxious. Therefore I am wondering if it is an anxiety thing or not. I don't feel lightheaded I don't feel faint I just get that sensation. Anybody else experience something similar. Because it is so hard to describe I am worried my doctor will just dismiss it.

It seems like when I am anxious too that unless I am shaking my legs relatively hard constantly that something bad is going to happen. Anyone else shake their legs? I am afraid maybe my blood pressure is low or high. But I don't think high. I was in the er for my first big panic attack that I couldn't calm down after 2 hours so I went and it was weird because my heart rate was normal (higher than when I am calm but still normal, 80-90s) my blood pressure was 117/85 so pretty normal and my oxygen was a little off at 95% but I was panicking so breathing was off a bit. Gave me Ativan and made me as cool as a cucumber. My question is doesn't blood pressure sky rocket during a panic attack? If so then my original blood pressure must have been really low. Or does it not always go up during panic? Or am I thinking too much about this and how it relates to the feelings I have now? I am just freaking out a bit. I can't tell if anxiety is talking to me or if I am really worried about it. Ugh my anxiety gets so bad in the evenings right around dinner which makes it hard to eat.

My muscles are sore today from being tense yesterday and I am sooooo tired and feel really blah. I'm guessing from being so tense and wired yesterday but the fatigue freaks me out the next day because I can't do anything. I was tried on cipralex but that's what caused my panic attack after 4 days of taking 10 mg and the er doc said to get off it for now and see my gp. I don't want to go through that again even with another drug. A week before I started cipralex my arthritis pills seem to be kicking in and I felt great physically and I went to the mall with my mom and I shopped!! Only minor anxiety but then I would get distracted by something. I haven't walked through an entire mall in 3 years and I woke up the next day and I didn't feel like death! I thought I was finally getting to the bottom of this cap but then I started and stopped the cipralex and I haven't left the house since. Can anxiety all by itself do this kind of thing? I mean physically I feel fine except for the few things I mentioned throughout this rant but to ground myself I always check my pulse take a deep breath and check my body for pain. All of which are all a ok at the moment and most moments. I have tried the links that have been posted for me before but I just can't get my mind to stop thinking. It is effecting my sleep even.

I guess the point of all this is to 1 get it off my chest and 2 what do you guys think? All anxiety or do I actually have cause for concern for something other than anxiety?

I have had so many tests it doesn't seem possible to have any major physical concerns at this point yet I can't function and just feel awful...

OK I think I'm done, if u made it this far, I thank you very much and sorry for wasting the last few minutes of your life.

Oh ps I am currently on 1.25mg of bisoprolol (beta blocker) for seemingly benign heart palpitations and tachycardia ( of which I have had basically none of since I started the pills) and 400mg of plaquenil for the arthritis been on it almost 2 months which is the kicking in time of it. Maybe twitching is side effect? But I don't think so.

Hi Jumper,

Are you a Third Eye Blind fan? :)

It sounds like you're right in that you have health anxiety — which can affect any/all parts of your body. The mind is pretty powerful, so if you latch on to one quirk, it can become more significant just by focusing on it.

It's encouraging that you got relief while on the cipralex even though it ultimately didn't work out. Are you open to trying another SSRI? Sometimes the start up effects can be really harsh in the beginning, and a lot of people take Xanax or something similar to help them cope with the heightened anxiety for the first couple of weeks. If you can muscle through that and stick it out, those side effects do go away, and then you're left with the benefit of the medication!

When you talk about shaking your legs, are you doing it voluntarily? Like a sort of superstition where if you don't shake them, the world will fall apart? My legs shake, but it's not voluntary. When I am having a panic attack, my legs shake uncontrollably due to the adrenaline spike. Sometimes they kick out on their own one at a time, like a spasm, when I am lying in bed during an attack. My husband thinks it's funny. I might too, if I weren't in the middle of a panic attack. :)

Good luck and keep us posted,

-Cat

Third Eye Blind is a band, yes. They were really popular in the 1990s and had a hit song called "Jumper." I'm showing my age now! :)

I'm sorry your boyfriend thinks your anxiety symptoms are funny. He should understand better than anyone about your panic attacks since he has been through similar experiences.

Your leg shaking sounds like a symptom of OCD. I have not been diagnosed with OCD but I definitely have it, to some degree. When I was a teenager I had a compulsion where if I touched a wall with one hand, I had to touch it with the other. And it had to be the same pressure, so if I pushed too hard or not hard enough, I had to do it again. I recognized this as unhealthy/OCD (I have always been fascinated with psychology) so I forced myself to stop doing it. It was sooooo hard not to touch walls, but once I was able to resist doing it for the first time — and the world didn't fall apart — it became easier and easier to stop doing it. Even now when I touch a wall, I still think about it, but I don't have the compulsion anymore.

I'm glad you felt better today... and hope you have a nice weekend with no panic. :)

-Cat