Posted 10/30/2015 1:07 PM (GMT 0)
I have health anxiety. I had a horrible panic attack last night. Here's the story and then a question that I struggle with frequently.
Last night I was bitten by a spider, I didn't actually see the spider, but had two fang type marks on my leg. It was red, itchy and had slight fever at the sight. As a person with health anxiety I did the dumbest thing I could do and looked it up on the internet. The only picture that looked like mine was a black widow bite and so I read the symptoms which are rapid heartbeat and pulse, cramps, nausea, etc. These can set in within an hour or two. Well, within the next 30 minutes my heart was about to pop out of my chest, I was having trouble catching my breath, and felt like I was going to vomit. I told my husband and he looked at the bite and tried to calm me down by saying that he'd never seen a black widow in this house or anywhere for that matter. That yes, it looked like I definitely been bit, but was highly doubtful that it would be a black widow. This did not help what so ever and I started insisting that I should go the ER. My husband knowing my history tried to distract me and started talking about other things, suggested that we go pick up something for dinner. I am on to him with what he is trying to do. He thinks I'm having a panic attack and is trying to get my mind off of it!!! I play along, but I'm still thinking "Ok, fine, I'll just die in this car, because no one took me seriously...they will be standing at my funeral saying they wish they would listen....blah, blah, blah". My heart rate is sky rocketing at this point and part of me just wants to jump out of the car to get relief. I sit in the drive thru and entertain the idea that I feel like eating. Because I definitely do not! Anyway, I insist that we at least stop at Walgreens so I can take my blood pressure. It was 158/87. 106 bpm!!! That's high for me. I decided to go home and eat, but if I still felt the way I did I was going to the ER. To sum it up, I got home took one of my Xanax, ate and fell asleep at 8:30. I was exhausted. I'm alive and well this morning, so I guess I really was having a panic attack. My question for everyone is as a person with panic attacks and anxiety how will I ever really know if I should seek medical treatment or not??? I've spent so much money and time in the past going to the ER for what I thought was a blood clot, heart attack, it goes on and on. But what if I really am and everyone including myself chalks it up to my anxiety and I don't get help. This thought in itself causes me anxiety! I am so tired of ruining perfectly good evenings with this illness. My husband and family are supportive and try to help, but I know they are tired too. I've been in counseling and tried everything. I hope this forum will help.