freaking the heck out.

Anxiety has been very high resently. Heart palps are worse. I am getting them when I exercise which doesn't help. They are horrible if my heart rate gets to high. Anything above 140 and bam they kick in. But quickly stop once I calm down.
---No pain or shortness of breath or discomfort-----

So the above leads to me having a hard time leaving the house or walking or cleaning. If I clean or go for a walk my hr raises which sets me off.

I am so scared of these darn things that I am almost to a total nervous breaking point. They are on my mind every waking minute. I don't breath right. I don't eat right. And I don't want to move in fear of having more.

I have also started having cramps 2 weeks prior. Which is totally new lasts for about 2 days. I hate it. Here I am in my early 40's and now dealing with this? Ugh go away.

Ok so the topper to this list.. I have a very sick Aunt that lives a little over 7 hours away. My mom is not healthy either and is in no shape to drive. So I have to take her. FREAKING the HECK out. OMG this is not cool at all. I don't leave this house to drive 10 minutes away without my Hubby with me. (He btw is very very upset that my dad wont take my mom and that I am going).
I have to do this. My family needs me. But I am so worried I will have a heart attack on this road trip and no one will be around to help. This is my biggest worry and has been for years.
And now that I said it.. holy heck hello panic attack.. UGHHHH..and the water works starts. This stinks.
I tried to make an appt to see a doc to get an ok you are fine to go. But they can't see me until the 18th.. I'm leaving Monday.

I'm soo scared. This isn't fair.. so not fair.. can I crawl in a corner and never come out? Someone can make this go away right?
I wish I could bottle you all up and take you with me..lol that would help :)

Ok enough from me. I have so much to take care of before I leave.
Take care
Allie.

Hi SC!

The systoms are horrible. But I try to relax slow breathing and focus on my safe place. It helps but the jump start of the attacks always are the hardest.

I am taking my oldest daughter with me. She doesn't drive. So I am the only option to drive. But she is my other support group. I am hoping this works. She is the other one I can travel with and usually do ok. At least for most shopping.
I just do not leave town. I have my route. Which I am comfortable with. Places I can stop or pull over if I am not feeling well. This trip is taking me to a lot of space with nothing in it. I hate that.. But I will just have to be strong and deal with it. I have too.
I may be a mess right now. But I will step up to the plate and do what needs to be done. I have to. I am stronger than my anxiety. Even though I feel so weak and helpless a lot of the time.

See this is why I need to bottle you up and take you with me. You make me think and work thru it. Even if you don't know it. But you do.

Thanks SC!

Allie,
Sometimes exercise (unfortunately) induces anxiety-like symptoms such as the heart palps. After a really good run or hike, where my HR is sky rocketing from the good work out, I'll get panicky at the feeling and I'll start to get the palps, too.

We are all going on the road trip with you in spirit. Deep breathing, positive visualization, and all those coping skills will be great for this. You will get through it and we are there for you!