Just need to Vent.

I just need to vent.

As many of you know my anxiety has been higher than it has been in months. It came after I stopped eating clean and working out, don't ask why I stopped, I wish I knew.. one day, I just stopped.

The smallest pains or pulls I feel in my chest, I now freak, just like before... I wake up feeling like my heart isn't beating right, or feel like that the second I start drifting off to sleep.
I've been getting more pvcs, and some after eating a lot too.
Which isn't making this easier.

But who said it'd be easy?

I've had ekgs, chest xrays, ( both of those as of 2/25/2016 ), an echo, monitors.

But why do I still feel like this?
Why am I allowing this anxiety to wreak havoc on my body,
When my rational side reminds myself is the tests I've had,
and that my stomach problems can cause the weird feelings.

There are people out there that HAVEN'T had tests done,
That have problems and don't know.

I'm grateful but feel so UNGRATEFUL at the same time...

I'm to my pissed of stage..
And it's unfortunate..
Especially since I feel like I'm doing this all to myself...

Post Edited (Melissuh) : 3/11/2016 7:10:57 AM (GMT-7)

Mellssuh, You did nothing to come by this condition, but don't keep kicking yourself while you are down,
get up off the mat and fight back you have beat this before and nothing can hold you back this time either, as humans we are not perfect, in our bodies or our minds so dont blame your self anymore and dont blame anything else, "this is your fight, lots of us are going to help",
PAD can beat anyone down but it can't whip all of us when we pull together, i can already see some improvement in your writing a sign of internal strength, if you have to fight dirty, just win! Peace

Larry ***