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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 10/22/2016 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi All,

My panic is at an all time high right now for a few reasons. I'll try to list and be brief.

I've re-started adderall for my ADD and the sensation of a stimulant is incredibly hard for me.

Hormones have been making me feel badly at random times during the month.

My mom is about to have a rather risky valve replacement surgery and I'm afraid she will not make it.

I feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin. My breathing is awful and I'm hyperventilating constantly.

I'm taking my xanax but even that isn't cutting it. I'm talking to my therapist every other week, but I just cannot shake these panic attacks that are coming with much more frequency than they have in months.

Any support you can offer is appreciated!
Posted 10/22/2016 9:14 PM (GMT 0)
P.,

I'm sorry...that is a tough list...:(

You've got some situational issues that are hard to get around. The Rx effects and the hormones are hard to change, because they, by nature, are more physically challenging...

...and of course you are worried about your mom's upcoming procedure...that is a natural response.

Keep using your tools, and seek to add some new ones to neutralize the added stress.

Positive mantras could help with the worrisome thoughts concerning your mom...because in all likelihood she is going to be fine...you've no reason to think otherwise at this time...so stay optimistic!

The added anxiety from the medication and hormones will hopefully level out soon, so try and look forward towards easier times coming.

With encouragement,

S.C.
Posted 10/22/2016 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, S.C.

I think a good cry session may be in order. I feel like I've been bottling these feeling up so tight that they're starting to come out as panic attacks and I cannot have that.
Posted 10/22/2016 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
park-is it possible to postpone the restsrt of adderal for now till you get tru this crisis? its got to be tough being stimulated on something like that while having extreme anxiety.
Posted 10/22/2016 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
Super,

I think that's what I'm going to do. I cannot handle the feeling A in my body right now and obviously her surgery is inevitable, so I think putting the adderall on the back burner is a must.

My therapist really likes me taking the adderall because she thinks it's great exposure therapy for learning to manage and accept this buzzed feeling in my body, but I just can't deal right now.
Posted 10/23/2016 2:28 AM (GMT 0)
Just sending you strength Park! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. One step at a time, and you'll make it through.
Posted 10/23/2016 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the support! It means a lot.
Posted 10/23/2016 7:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Park

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment you have a lot going on.

You can get through this and we are here to support you so keep us posted.

Hibee
Posted 10/23/2016 3:54 PM (GMT 0)
Prayers for your Mommie Park, Peace

Larry ***
Posted 10/23/2016 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, everyone.

I'm trying to have a better attitude today and I called my therapist and asked for an appointment this week, so we'll be talking on Tuesday. I've also asked my babysitter to come an extra day this week so I can go get a massage and take a little time for myself so I can relax and try and be in a better frame of mind.

My therapist told me that she thought I was smothering my real feelings a little bit and was not surprised that they finally came out in the form of a major panic attack. Oddly having her say that sort of made me feel better.

Thanks again for the constant support and also for the prayers for my mom.

Also, can I just say, Wow! Did anyone see that Cubs game last night? What a great distraction! My mom was at the game and said the energy made her feel amazing! So yay for that!
Posted 10/23/2016 6:41 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not really in to sports, but my Dad and sister were over and wanted to watch the game, so I saw it too. WOW, I bet that was crazy to actually be AT the game! Probably took forever to get out of there! hahah!
Posted 10/23/2016 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
Haha! Yeah, my mom said no one wanted to leave the stadium.
Posted 10/23/2016 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
I hope you're feeling better soon Park.
Posted 10/23/2016 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Rspwed.
Posted 10/23/2016 10:25 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry your experiencing high anxiety sending a hug x
Posted 10/24/2016 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
Park,

Sending love and support to you!
Posted 10/24/2016 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all! It helps me to come here and see all of the support!
Posted 10/24/2016 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Park,

How are you feeling today? Better I hope <3!
Posted 10/27/2016 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, Blu. I'm hanging in.

My mom checks into the hospital tomorrow. She's having some mini procedure first and then the valve transplant is Monday.

I enjoy wine pretty regularly and have decided to cut back so I can of course be healthier and also lose the last few lbs of baby weight. However...I've decided to enjoy the wine the next few days to just keep calm until Monday is over. That may sound like irresponsibly self medicating with alcohol, but I swear I don't have a problem, I just need to relax this next few days. LOL. I consider it better than taking too much of my xanax.

Speaking of xanax, I have got to do a post about the wonderful convo I had with my neuro doc today about benzos. I'll do that later when I don't have to entertain my kids!
Posted 10/27/2016 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
do any of you ever go to benzobuddies form and read the benzo horror stories there? it makes you think we arnt so bad off.
Posted 10/27/2016 9:45 PM (GMT 0)
Nope. I'm a benzo success story and have gone on and off a number of times and now my doctor has decided that xanax is just the drug for me. What works for some isn't always best for others, but for me it's a lifesaver.
Posted 10/28/2016 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
Can't wait to hear about the success story !

And as for the wine... keep it flowing ;)!
Posted 10/28/2016 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
So far so good with my mom today. They did a catch and made sure her arteries weren't clogged and everything looked good. She's now on strict bed rest for the next 24 hours to make sure she doesn't get a bleed of any kind.
Posted 10/28/2016 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah....great news regarding the pre-op procedure. Sounds like she is going to do just fine on Monday! :)

Sending continued thoughts and prayers for you both!

S.C.
Posted 10/28/2016 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
Good news so far. Hoping for continued success!
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