Drowning in hopelessness

My doc recently added Buspar to my meds for anxiety. Its been a week since i started. Day before yesterday i noticed signs of depression, which quickly escalated into a full blown depression by the next day. I've had depressive episodes before but nothing like this. Its like all the pain accrued over the years, every ounce of it, that have been sublimating under the surface have broken loose. and i cant contain it. I feel shrouded in this morbid feeling of doom. Everything seems hopeless. Nothing, Literally nothing is making me feel good. Tried food i like, listened to music i like, tried reading books i was in the middle of. But nada. its all gone. All i have left inside my head are my worst fears and painful memories. Suicidal thoughts are looming in the back of mind.

I was finally beginning to make headway, getting better, little by little everyday, and all of sudden without any reason or warning i find my self sucked into this hell.

Im assuming these horrible feelings are a side effect of Buspar. I did found 'depression, as rare but serious side effect listed in webmd and drugs.com. I am hoping its just that. A passing side effect. Fingers crossed. I'll be stopping Buspar and will see how it goes.

Hi

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment medication add on's or new meds can disrupt things temporally.

When you start a new medication it seems to be the norm for things to get worse before they start to get better again and this period usually takes a few weeks to settle back down again. I would suggest if things don't improve soon then go and speak with your doc and also tell the about the suicidal thoughts and in the meantime we have some phone numbers you can phone if your in crisis in our resources section.

Keep us posted we are here for you.

Hibee

Hi Rav,

I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this effect. :/ I do hope that you continue to feel better, once it has cleared your system. Some Rx's just are not a good match...so know that the 'trial and error' process is just something that happens along the journey to finding the key management plan!

I am sending encouragement that you are your doctor find just that perfect mix...

...and for now, keep up with your coping skills to get you through...and continue to post with us for support! We are here for you!!

Peace and progress,

S.C.

Hi Rav
I am so glad even in your very low mood you found the motivation to post on here, We can all empathise with you and give you our support.

We may not be able to reach out to you physically to help but hopefully knowing that we are willing you on and sending love and strength while your having this blip is of some comfort.

Keep up with positive thoughts .... You are strong...You are positive... You can do this

This is just a blip see the doctor and keep us updated on your progress xx

Your very welcome x
I feel the same .. I took my eye off the ball a couple of weeks ago , and had a blip... so belt and braces for me now as i never want to go back to that dark place.

Morning and night now without fail i do the meditation guided ones off youtube... I take a walk at weekends on my day off, for fresh air and blow the cobwebs away.

And i start the day with my mantra lol.... I am strong.. I am calm .. i can do this xx

And you can do it too xx keep posting 😊

Thanks rav
Breathing exercises are great as you say ... I can struggle to get into a pattern with it . I tried following a guided one and could not get in sync with the person speaking lol
But on my own its easier.

I think making coping skills part of daily routine is so important to me even feeling no anxiety because I need to keep my mind focused as we all know the anxiety lurks waiting for our guard to be down....... That's why I am not leaving anything to chance.....

So improved breathing exercises is another goal for me .... Thank you

Hope you improve soon sending you strength xx