HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

still overwhelmed

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 12/4/2016 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
too much stress
home & work
I allow myself to be taken advantage of- it's my own fault....yet it's my nature to be a people pleaser.
When I stand up for myself these toxic people twist the situation and make me look like the b--ch.
Plus- it doesn't make me feel good to stoop to their levels and it makes me feel bad about myself.
I'm not sleeping well despite earbuds of mindful meditation going.
Making a mega trip to be with my elderly mom for Christmas. Taking on my dime all the adult kids as she hasn't traveled in years and they haven't had the money to visit. It's been quite the orchestration, trying to find reasonable airfare, hotel, vehicle that will accommodate all. Will be trying to fit in a lot of things in a very short time period as people couldn't get many day off from their jobs.
Having presents delivered that I'll have to wrap once I get there on the 23rd... Other presents delivered here that I'll wrap & ship there....
I'm too tired to talk anymore. :(
Posted 12/4/2016 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
Wow you do have a lot on and no wonder you're stressed.
How amazing of you to take all your siblings to visit your mum. Be proud and try to focus on all the positives you have and are doing for others.
You'll add to your stress thinking you're being taken advantage of.
Be kind to yourself.
Posted 12/4/2016 3:30 AM (GMT 0)
WRAS,

You are giving your mom an amazing gift!! You are a good daughter...and this will be treasured memory for all involved!

Do try and delegate some responsibility to the others...such as wrapping gifts if you can.:) (ship them unwrapped...and make it a mandatory family wrapping party when you all arrive?)

I hope you can find some rest for yourself...and enjoy this special time you have so generously orchestrated.

Hugs,

S.C.
Posted 12/4/2016 8:50 AM (GMT 0)
Aw Weary

Phew thats a lot going on .. No wonder your feeling the pressure. One step at a time I would be writing a list to get it out of my head , then tick off as its done ... I see its ticked so i can let that one go.

Try to get some some respite from the planning in your head otherwise you can start to resent the non planning from the others. They dont know (if they have never suffered) Just what it really feels like to feel so overwhelmed and anxious so they see you coping , organising and planning and will let you get on with it... not knowing the toll it is taking on your mind and body.

Try the delegating .. remember to pack your coping skills and any of your self help aids.
Have an amazing time ... Im proud of the fact you are feeling the fear and doing it any way.
Look after you though.. You are just as important as all the people you are trying to please

Your doing a lovely thing for all your family xxxEnjoy
Posted 12/5/2016 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
I would be super stressed too. Be sure to take a moment and be kind to yourself. I also try to make people happy all the time and it wears me down...learning to be caring to me (at least a little) is my goal for maintaining balance in this crazy world!

Hang in there! :)
Posted 12/6/2016 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks all for your support and validation.
Just a clarification- I'm not taking my siblings-I'm not that generous :)
Actually only have 1 alive anyway. It's my adult children I'm taking.
Not too much I can really delegate. I'm ordering gifts online and shipping what I can direct to mom's. She's been told- do not open! Put the boxes in the spare bedroom!
I can't ask my kids to help wrap their gifts when we get there but I did buy gifts for some of her neighbors who are good to her and give me peace of mind when I'm so far away. I think I'll ask my daughter to wrap those. I have a son who enjoys cooking so I'll ask for his help in preparing the Christmas meal. Hmmm I have a couple more people to find chores for :)
I do have lists, lists, lists and I do enjoy ticking things off and just having something to look at to make sure I'm not forgetting something.
Think I better get on Amazon now and have wrapping paper and fancy chinet plates delivered there. No dishes are not something I'm going to want to do!
Posted 12/6/2016 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
Great ideas!!!

...and good on you for delegating! You just be that 'Bossy Missy' and crack the whip, girl!!!!!.;p.;p ;p

If I can make one more suggestion....?

Gift bags and tissue!!!! You can buy them in bulk, so they are not so $$...and they take seconds to put together.

S.C.
Posted 12/6/2016 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
darn- gift bags were a good idea- too late I ordered paper
Posted 12/6/2016 11:48 PM (GMT 0)
That is a lot going on! Just think the memories will be forever while the stress of it all will be temporary. I hope things go smoothly and are wonderful for you.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply