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I don't talk about this much but

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 12/14/2016 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
I wonder if there is a connection.

We lost our second child at 2 1/2 months old to SIDS. It has been years ago now, she would have been an adult now. When it happened I felt a little slip mentally but I had another child so I tried to make sure it was ok. I did at one point not go out as much and it was a small town and it was hard because of that because we were not from there and people weren't always nice. I had been working and quit my job also after it happened. The physical part of it, I mean feeling it was literally like there was a hole in my body. It felt like an aching pain of emptiness.

When my husband leaves me here to go out of state to work I have issues and I am just wondering if it relates at all mentally somehow.

I sometimes feel a fraction of that same emptiness that I felt and I often end up sick with something when he goes away again and I can't help it.

I wish I had my psych Doc in California to talk to. I tried counseling here but it wasn't helpful honestly.

Having a rough day today. I know it's stress but my bp is up pretty high and I am not dealing well.
Posted 12/14/2016 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
T2R,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. No matter when it happened, it is natural to still feel the void that losing a child does cause...of course you still have these feelings!

I too am sorry to hear that you don't have the therapy outlet you once did. If I can encourage you to not give up looking though! You can't replace the bond you had with your previous P-doc...but you could find someone that could end up helping nonetheless.

For now, I applaud you for talking about your pain...and encourage you to write about it as well. Do you have a special journal just for memories of your little one? This could be a meaningful remembrance that grows through the years. ..and something that helps you process the feelings you are having.

Know that we care and are listening and sending you virtual hugs at this time...

S.C.
Posted 12/14/2016 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Aw Time

I am sorry you are not so good today...

And very sad about the trauma of you losing your child . I cannot even imagine how devastating that tragedy was for you.....

It is very likely that could be contributing to the anxiety you suffer ... Talking and working with a therapist about all of this maybe the way forward.

Im sending you love , strength and support xxx Be gentle on your self
Posted 12/14/2016 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
When I get insurance back I will look again and see if I can find anyone to talk to. The counselor here in town was nice enough but she mostly worked out of a workbook and honestly most of what she was able to do I can do on my own. I really need someone to look through things with me and help me figure out what is causing what and how to process it. The problem with the mental health clinics around are they being county based so I am stuck with this one as far as these types of clinics go. I did try another town and the clinic wouldn't take me. When I lived in this state before but another small town, I had the same issue. Thank you so much for the support and for listening ((HUGS))
Posted 12/14/2016 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
T2R,

Sending you the biggest virtual hug right now. You are so incredibly brave for sharing this with us, and I absolutely think there's a correlation. You suffered a tragedy, and I'd be worried if it DIDN'T affect your mental health.

I will echo SC and recommend writing about it-- sometimes writing is the best outlet, and then you can always reference back to it to see how far you've come.

We're always here for you!
Posted 12/15/2016 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry that you experienced this. It hits close to my heart as I have an 8 month old right now. I can't imagine. I'm sending you peaceful vibes.
Posted 12/17/2016 4:18 PM (GMT 0)
I wanted to say that I also am so very sorry for your loss. Big hugs.
Posted 12/17/2016 4:38 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys so much for the support <3
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