It's been a while / Feeling the anxiety again

Hi everyone! It has been a long time since I've posted but my anxiety has kicked in again and this place is the only place where I have always been able to share my feelings.

It's been a stressful last few years, I lost my dad, and have gone through some schooling, and now I'm in the process of getting bariactric surgery (a decision I had finally made for myself, surprisingly after suppressing my weight issues for years). I have PCOS and anxiety and panic disorder. I would before mostly post about feeling anxious, especially when it came to my BP readings.

Well today I had my first official appointment with my surgeon, (this is gonna be a process before I ever get the surgery) and they did a ECG, blood work etc. Of course, high pulse, high BP and he said my vitamin d was the lowest reading he's ever seen (I was kinda shocked). So now he wants to send me for an echo? (I think that's what it is) and now I'm FREAKING out and my mind hasn't stopped and the googling has started. My BP was 160/100 and it's always been high readings so now I think I am dying of heart disease and I have caused all this unreversable damage. I just feel like they are gonna give me bad news and I just can't stop thinking about it or freaking out. Whew, I just needs some encouragement.

What was your Vitamin D? (Mine is often low as well.) I agree that the 160/100 could just be high from the visit. I basically have very average BP. It's almost always 120/80 at regular doctor visits. However, it's also almost always 140/90 or so at "scary" visits (before my recent colonoscopy), and I've clocked it at 150/95 at home when I'm having panic issues. And even 160/100, while high, is not going to take you out in the near future. BP must be sustained high for years to really be problematic. (That said, do what you can to lower it...but don't let the stress of the moment stress you out.) Wow, that was so easy to SAY, not so easy to do. I'm right there with you with other pieces of data. You are not alone. I will say it's easier trying to reassure YOU than myself, so maybe think about what you would say if this was ME posting, then take that to heart. Hang in there! So sorry about your father.