ANXIETY IS RUINING MY LIFE

Hi everyone,

I've finally plucked up the courage to write a post about my experience rather than frantically flicking page to page of endless people in the same position as me. I hope that someone will be able to provide some advice, or lessons from your experience to help make this a little easier ☺️.

Where to start!? I remember the first time I suffered with the nausea and vomiting was in 2009.. I was 16/17 and of course started a relationship (as you do) just because you think it's what you want lol and everyone else had one! I would feel very very nervous before any dates (days in advance!!!) and I'd find myself hanging on to the toilet for dear life. It was HELL to say the least.

Being so young, i put it down to nerves... normal right?

Then I started suffering with Heartburn.. (still 16 years old) backwards and forwards to the doctors to be prescribed medication - they suggested indigestion which, looking back now - could have been right had it not stayed with me!!!

Anyway, fast forward 8 years and here I am, trying to get hold of any support/advice because it hasn't gone away, it's got worse.

The heartburn comes and goes, depending on what I eat (e.g onions - oh I love them but I've come to realise that they are not my friend and my stomach does not like them!) so I'm slowly figuring out what I can and can't eat.. which Is great. I haven't suffered so much in the past couple of weeks so on that front, it's more self control that I need to sort the problem. and when it does strike back, I only need to walk to the fridge for a glass of milk to soothe. EVERYTIME. I've tried all of the over the counter mess (gaviscon, rennie etc but nothing worked!!!)

So... let's talk about the nausea and the relentless vomiting that ONLY happens in the morning. From the moment I open my eyes it's there. Waiting to strike... as an example yesterday I physically vomitted 6 times before I left for work (6am-8:15am).

This is where I get to this big massive brick wall that I can't seem to break through... it ONLY happens when I go to work. On the weekend I'm fine. I lost my job in January and was unemployed and struggling for 3 months - the whole time AMAZING. I didn't suffer once, apart from an early start before a trip to Amsterdam. I was actually sick on the bus from the airport to our apartment (mortifying!!!).

So I finally get offered an amazing job, which was a blessing because life is hard when it feels like the world is against you and I thought everything would be fine... but I can't shake the nausea and i can't deal with the vomiting in the morning anymore! I used to think it was my area of work (secretarial) I know right??? it makes me wonder why I feel I am not capable because I'm a very confident person but when it comes to being in a work environment I just fear the worst!

So of course, it's my 4th day of my new job, and I've been sent home because it's no longer hanging around for the morning it's persisting until bed time.. i lay in bed and think "I can't face it already" because I know what's coming. but WHY!?

Today was the last day I was going to suffer, so I made an appointment with a therapist - I'm not physically unwell - I'm mentally unwell and I feel like this is the only way I can get to the bottom of this. Has anyone found this to be a good way to help get through it?

Some days, my thoughts are also quite dark. Just Sunday night I was mentally writing words for my nans funeral. She hasn't died, but I just constantly worry about death and how I would feel and it's as if I'm trying to feel it?? I can't talk about it, I will leave a conversation if the topic does come up because once i start thinking about it, I can't stop. It's normally when I'm in bed at night, which leads to a crap nights sleep.

I google breast cancer symptoms every other day because I feel like any changes I see in my own, that's it - and fear the worst.
The thoughts are quite regular, this isn't just through working periods. Yet, I feel like I have nothing to relate it to? I'm not sad, but I'm anxious. I feel like something terrible is happening to me, or I'm leaving home and think "this could be the last time I close this door"

Has anyone else experienced any of this? I'd love to get some feedback from you all.

Thank you for reading - and sorry if it's jumbled and rambled this really is the only time I've written it down and had to read over it!!! normally it's swirling around my mind all day!

Elle xxxx

Hi Dawn,

Thanks so much!

I have yes, I've been for ultrasound scans and nothing was found and also waiting for a referral for an endoscopy (just to check!) but physically I feel fine, other than in the AM when I need to get ready for work. So I'm not too concerned!

I just don't know why it happens? It's been in every single job I've had. I've had to leave because it become to much. But now, I want a future I don't want to feel like this so of course, that's why I've made the appointment to speak to someone.

I have an appointment today to see the DR so hoping he may be able to prescribe medication to ease it, just enough for me to get on with my day!!


Elle xxx

Hi Tim Tam,

Thank you for your reply!!

I've searched google countless of times - forgot to mention I have been diagnosed with GERD but I had a funny turn with the oral medication. Was violently sick for 3 days..

This is something ONLY occurring when I go to work. Once I finish at 5:00pm I can go about my normal business however the past couple of days just haven't felt the same.

Hopefully the doctor tonight will be able to give me a bit more information as to what it could be as the variation of conditions below is quite daunting to read!

Thanks so much!


Elle xxx

Elle - same thing with me. My anxiety manifests in my stomach. I've been throwing up almost every morning for the past 14 months. I only vomit excessively in the morning before work.

This also happened to me when I was in 5th grade. The anxiety first showed itself by me vomiting every day before school.

The last two days have been the first that I haven't been vomiting. I believe the medication I'm on now is starting to work and the anxiety and panic responses are diminishing. I think the vomiting is going to stop real soon here. I'm also withdrawing from Xanax so that has increased the vomiting frequency. The right combination of coping mechanisms and medication will get this to stop! It stopped for me before - I have faith it will again for you and for me as well!