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Posted 4/19/2017 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
i get so tired of fighting this all the time. Sitting here at work fighting back tears. Not sleeping well. CPAP machine doesn't seem to make a difference. Still sleep like crap. My wife asking me everyday " how are you feeling today?" It gets so old. Lexapro was a wonder drug for me for so many years. Sure wish I could find something else that could work as well. There are so many days when I wonder if I'll ever be myself again.
Posted 4/19/2017 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
I understand.. It is exhausting trying and trying to feel just okay. Hopefully, you will feel better soon.. Just keep trying and fighting
Posted 4/19/2017 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Rspwed,

I'm sorry you're having a rough day.
What happened with the Lexapro? I'm sorry, my mind is drawing a blank.

I know it seems like a dark tunnel right now but please know there is light at the end of it. We are here for you in support and encouragement!
Posted 4/19/2017 4:54 PM (GMT 0)
'Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.'

'Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.'

'Let perseverance be your engine, and hope your fuel.'

With encouragement...it is very difficult at times, but staying the course will see you in a better place soon.

S.C.
Posted 4/19/2017 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks AK. One foot in front of the other.

Thanks Blu. I was up to 40mg of Lexapro this time around and it's very activating. I was only getting 3 to 4 hours a night. Plus that's double the recommended dose. So I asked to switch. First time I was in it, I was fine at 10mg.

Thanks S.C. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Posted 4/19/2017 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
Sleep issues are huge for me too.My circadian stuff is off.

I know how it feels like .Try progressive relaxation ,it might work as some ppl have anxiety high at night.

CPap machine is a life safer,if you hate it get surgery instead.


hope you find your calm.

good luck!
Posted 4/20/2017 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Cilly.
Posted 4/20/2017 1:01 PM (GMT 0)
i pooped at 50mg. still taking forty. i hear ya, and send many healing thoughts ya way. may strength reinvigorate your spirit, we care about you.
Posted 4/20/2017 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks HT. I guess I had hoped the CPAP would really change things for the better. I'm not seeing any difference yet. Put me in a funk.
Posted 4/22/2017 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
bugger. keep strong.
Posted 4/22/2017 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
You too, my friend.
Posted 4/23/2017 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
I get it totally and you're not alone. Even on my good days my anxiety somehow rears its head. I have to have one coping mechanism for one situation and another coping mechanism for another. New situation sometimes requires a new coping technique. Other times I just have to ride the wave of uncomfortable feelings.

This thing we all have is relentless...I also long for the days of just feeling normal, even though I have to admit things are better than before.

Hang in there!
Posted 4/23/2017 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks AT. I'm getting by. Haven't had a bout like this in a while.

Post Edited (Rspwed) : 4/25/2017 5:26:11 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/23/2017 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi RSw
That's what my PDoc said, u start with low dose then high then it doesn't work anymore, but I think something might have triggered yours, most of us suffer from insomnia
I'm sure you will feel better tomorrow, as for trying to hold back the tears at work, i know exactly what you feeling.and sorry you are feeling this way, try and talk to someone. Because exhaustion makes one miserable

Sending hugs😊😊
Posted 4/23/2017 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks prew. You're a sweet soul.
Posted 4/25/2017 6:57 AM (GMT 0)
Try energy Music , hope you find your calm.

good luck!

Post Edited (super123) : 4/25/2017 1:03:25 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/25/2017 10:15 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks super123. Welcome to the forum.
Posted 4/25/2017 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
<<i get so tired of fighting this all the time..... My wife asking me everyday " how are you feeling today?" It gets so old.>>

I could have written these words myself. Dealing with anxiety is so incredibly draining. Everything takes three times as much effort and I know I am not performing -- in any area of my life -- at a high level, because I am weighed down, and tired, and distracted, and often incredibly tense. It is a sad way to be. My wife tries to show that she cares, but she does not even begin to understand...

And because of the stigma, it is not something I can freely discuss (other than on a more or less anonymous forum such as this). It is strange that if I were feeling sick because of the flu, or cancer, I could discuss it openly, but not if its mental...

But those of us who are weighed down by this and still manage to get through the day, and meet our responsibilities, and do right by others, show strength. Even if nobody else knows how much strength it takes. So you should take pride in what you accomplish every day.
Posted 4/25/2017 4:46 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks medved. Here's to us, a strong pair. I do have a great wife, she does care enormously, but I do find myself shielding her from certain things sometimes. Not because of a stigma so much as just not wanting to beat a dead horse. I hope you find some relief soon as well.
Posted 4/25/2017 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Rsp,

Sending you encouragement and stamina to keep working towards your recovery goals!

Are you sleeping any better the last couple of days? Can you maybe get your C-pap adjusted, or a different mask/apparatus that may fit better and give you more beneficial results? (sorry I don't know much about them...just wondering if there are options?)

S.C.
Posted 4/25/2017 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Scaredy,
Thanks for asking, unfortunately the CPAP machine is doing its job. I am not waking up due to the apnea much anymore, according to my data. My AHI (Apnea Hypopnea Index) is down to less than 1 from 38.
This is the amount of times per hour that your sleep is interrupted by an apnea event. You don't become conscious but are awakened enough for your brain to tell your body to breathe.

My problem is my same old problem. I go to bed at 10 and wake up at 2 or 2:30,and can't get back to sleep.

It was relieved somewhat at 15mg of Remeron, but I had to cut the dose in half because it was making me really irritable. My wife and I fought more in that month and a half than in the 13 years previous. lol.
So when I dropped the remeron I increased my buspar and I think its just activating enough to start popping me awake again.

I've been on my current dosages for a little over a month, and I think I'm going to stay put here for awhile and let my body adjust. I've been changing doses way too much, I think.

I wonder sometimes if I'm not still feeling the effects of coming off of the large dose of Lexapro I was on before the switch.

Thanks again for asking.
Posted 4/25/2017 9:43 PM (GMT 0)
Staying steady for a while is a good plan I think. Giving your system time to adjust will hopefully see you getting into more stable circadian rhythms.

Great news about the decrease of the apnea episodes!

....just got to get the others issues managed...(and you will) and you'll be feeling better again soon, I'm sure.smile

S.C.
Posted 4/25/2017 10:51 PM (GMT 0)
I could not handle the remeron either. way too strong . I could not wake up in the am and it didn't keep me asleep the whole nite either. my dr didn't want to prescribe a real sleeping pill . offered trazadone or remeron
Posted 4/25/2017 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
Did you switch to trazadone then?
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