My wife of 17 years has suddenly stopped talking to me and wants to leave me

Tim Tam... honestly i haven't been fair to her and i have acknowledged that and its been a few years now ...
what i am asking about is looking forward

i tried asking her yesterday after reading your post....all hell broke loose once again ...it was about how my sexual fantasies have played on her mind ...and some picky incidents ...basically again an outburst ..nothing conclusive

I think you really should focus on treating your anxiety and try to move on now. Medication helps a lot especially with therapy.

To be honest I don't think her reaction is "sudden", it was always there hidden inside and probably she can't deal with it anymore so everything is surfacing. I suggest she gets some professional support as I believe she is going through anxiety and/or depression silently.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, naturally, we are human beings. But there will always be consequences. Accept that fact and let her go if she wants to separate ways. Otherwise it would be extremely selfish in my opinion.

Good luck, please keep us updated.

hi all... i know i have not replied in a while .. her father told me he has spoken to her.. and he told me ...just check for a couple of days and let me know how it goes..shes been in " slightly" better mood since last Saturday ...it still a tense atmosphere but much much better than it was last friday when all hell broke loose again

no no SC...she hasn't moved she is staying pretty much with me
Not sure what made you feel that way

" For now keep working at your anxiety management with the use of coping skills" ....what are the coping skills SC?

things were quite fine...apart from she not being at home i mean much lesser than she used to be ...
this Saturday when she found out me talking to my friend on phone ..she called me in and asked i know ur talking to a lot of people and telling that whats the reason for my sudden outburst but let me tell u again that its not a sudden outburst i have been struggling from 2 years and i put up a face but now i'm unable to cope ..she said i dint wanna talk to my father he is the most selfish man i have ever seen he doesn't wanna spare time in any of my darkest moments. She said a few things again mostly repetitive i didn't go to argue . I asked her ..during last Sundays bbq( her whole family had come including my one friend) how were u fine...she said she was putting up a face ...i said stop doing that , i am not hiding behind my anxiety or depression, and stop thinking that im talking about you all the time...i couldn't sleep that night ..last 2 days have been bad .....
not sure what to do although next morning she seemed to be talking she was not at home from 4 and dint return upto midnight she told me shes going put with friends

SC waiting to hear from u

thanks SC

not sure if you read this

"things were quite fine...apart from she not being at home i mean much lesser than she used to be ...
this Saturday when she found out me talking to my friend on phone ..she called me in and asked i know ur talking to a lot of people and telling that whats the reason for my sudden outburst but let me tell u again that its not a sudden outburst i have been struggling from 2 years and i put up a face but now i'm unable to cope ..she said i dint wanna talk to my father he is the most selfish man i have ever seen he doesn't wanna spare time in any of my darkest moments. She said a few things again mostly repetitive i didn't go to argue . I asked her ..during last Sundays bbq( her whole family had come including my one friend) how were u fine...she said she was putting up a face ...i said stop doing that , i am not hiding behind my anxiety or depression, and stop thinking that im talking about you all the time...i couldn't sleep that night ..last 2 days have been bad .....
not sure what to do although next morning she seemed to be talking she was not at home from 4 and dint return upto midnight she told me shes going put with friends"

SC
Wouldn't it be better if he to takes her with to his therapist so she can get a clear understanding what we go through with this devil anxiety..clearly one cant apologize 100 times and apology still cant be accepted...

i feel she actually will never forgive him and actually she wants to leave and doesn't want to make the first move.

VK
Please try and convince her to go with you to the next session.

V.,

That is a good sign that she is going to continue to attend therapy with you! If she was not intending to move forward in the marriage...she probably wouldn't be taking this step.

The question you ask about the grounds for divorce is a subjective one. Different people have various levels of tolerance in what they will or won't accept in their marriage

Years ago I discovered my husband had a pornography addiction that he had hid from me from the beginning of our relationship. I almost left him, as this is something that is disgusting to me...not only on a personal level...but what I consider to be a huge exploitation/objectification of women in general. Basically he was indulging in what is close to my most hated behavior.

However, going through marriage, as well as individual couseling for his addiction helped us to heal and move forward...

...and I am now glad we did.

This of course is only my story. You will have to wait and see if yours has a similar positive resolution. I hope it does.

S.C.

😊Glad to help...

...yes, to my knowledge, and by all indications he has given up/recovered from the behavior/addiction.

We both had to work hard to pull our marriage back together...he with counseling and fighting a temptation he had dealt with since he was a teen...

...and me, to forgive and learn to trust him again...

...but it has worked, we celebrated our 22nd anniversary yesterday.

I too had periods of struggling with the past issues again even after the fact. Something might trigger me, that brought up all the old feelings again...

...but with continued time and commitment to healing, we made it.😊

With encouragement,

S.C.

V.,

I am sorry to hear this...

...I can't tell you how this will turn out...whether with a resolution through more counseling and time...

...or whether this may be the place where you part ways.

However, I can tell you that though we can't control other's actions...we do have a choice in our own.

I therefore encourage you continue to do whataever you need to in order to be your best and healthiest YOU.

You will move out of this difficult period one way or another...hang in there.

S.C.