For the first seventeen years of my life I have been anxiety free. And just throwing this out there, I do not support drug abuse of any kind. I won't even take a Tylenol haha. Long story short, an opportunity to do *an illegal substance* came about
. I battled in my head for weeks before I finally got the courage to try it. My friends had told me that it was the best thing in the world and it would only make me extremely happy. And it did. Until it didn't. After the happy effects started to wear off I started to feel uneasy and panicked. Everyone else around me were acting perfectly normal and that scared me even more. So as this was going on, a couple of friends pointed out that my knees and legs looked purple. FYI it was cold, I'm pale as a ghost, and usually get purple splotchy legs. But for some reason, when I seen them I turned into full panic mode. Thoughts of overdose and dying started to fill my head and it kept getting worse and worse. (I did the smallest amount that was possible. Even my friends made fun of me because I did about
a fourth of what they did)I went inside and laid on my couch for hours after that. Just having the worst panic attack I had ever had in my life. No one knew what was going on and that scared me even more. After that experience, about
a month ago, I have had constant anxiety, both mental and physical. Now,even when my legs look fine, I somehow get convinced that they are turning purple again and it sends me into panic mode. Sometimes they really do look purple when I am having an anxiety attack but I think that is because during an attack I tend to breathe really shallow without noticing. So I think that is what happened that night. I was having an anxiety attack, slightly hyperventilating, and I had been standing in the same spot for hours, so my legs were just getting poor circulation. Now I feel like everyone can see me having an anxiety attack and I think that they think I'm going crazy. I think that might be because when I was panicking on the.**** I kept looking at everyone else to see if they were looking at me weird. A lot of the symptoms are just a basic repeat of what happened that night. I wonder if It could be some sort of PTSD or just severe anxiety. about
a week ago i also started to notice signs of depression so I started seeking help. It really sucks. Don't do drugs kids.
**reason for edit** Sunstance abuse can only be discussed in general terms, as per forum rules, thanks.
Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 7/30/2017 2:19:40 PM (GMT-6)