replaying a conversation in my mind

Hi, I have not been here in a while. Did some CBT (with a world-renowned, although expensive, expert). It helped. I think the bottom like is i will always have anxiety, but I may be able to use techniques to minimize its impact..

Do any of you have this situation: I have a conversation with someone, and then afterward I regret the conversation and wish I had said different things. Maybe I came off as arrogant, or said something the other person might find insulting, or disclosed something that I should have kept confidential, or whatever.

But then I feel anxious about that, and replay the conversation (over and over and over again) in my mind, and ruminate about what I should have said, etc.

I try to tell myself: "you did not actually say anything terrible; this is just your anxious brain playing tricks on you and trying to annoy you." But it is hard. And maybe I actually did say things I should not have.

Is this a common anxiety scenario? How have others of you successfully dealt with it?

I am not on any meds. I have xanax but almost never take it. Really trying to just live my life...

I also have a very high stress job -- not just a job that I find stressful because of anxiety, but a job that is objectively very high stress.

Thanks, S. Cat!

One odd thing is when I fall asleep, I may sleep OK, but the second I wake up, I will immediately think about the conversation I had, what I said wrong, how I could have said differently. So its like the last thing I think about at night and the first thing in the morning. The only refuge, then, is the hours I am asleep.

Still, all in all I guess I am doing better. I know I have life better than 98% of people -- good health, no money problems, a family, a nice house, a good education, a job, etc. I just need to learn to enjoy it...

During times of high stress -- when you are "obsessing" over something or lying awake trying to figure out whether you need to take a sleeping pill -- and worrying about "next day" stuff -- it is hard to focus on all the things one has to be grateful for, and how so many people have it so much worse. I look at what is going on with the Rohingya people, for example, and I feel like I should "just shut up about my ridiculous worries and be grateful about everything I have and do not deserve."