Introduction

Hello all,

I've been viewing these boards forever and have finally decided to take the plunge and post. Like all of you, my friend anxiety has taken over my life. I had my first panic attack in July of 2015, and I remember that date well because that's the date that i stopped being "normal". Initially, I would only get anxiety after drinking, however this eventually morphed into a constant thing where I would literally have anxiety every single day.

Things have gotten better over the past few months as I have continued to realize that it's all in my head. The crazy thing is that, even though I know I'm creating my own anxiety, I can't stop it. It's like trying not to think about pink elephants...And even when I am able to control my thoughts through distraction (lifting weights and golfing are great distractions), I still have physical symptoms! Heart palps, numbness/tingling in left arm, jaw and ear pain, dizziness, etc.

Several times I've thought I had this dumb thing figured out, and then out of nowhere it will prove me wrong. Just last week I was talking in a meeting, and all the sudden I got super-dizzy and was convinced that I was going to faint. I didn't, but ***? I used to be the guy who thought he could do anything...

I'm a lawyer by trade, and am used to stress. As many have observed, my anxiety usually manifests physically, and then those physical symptoms give me anxiety. Is it a stroke? a heart attack? At this point, I know it's just my anxiety, but god help me, every time I get a bad one, I manage to convince myself that this time is different. It's amazing what our minds are capable of.

SC,

Thanks for the response. Some days I feel like I've got this anxiety thing under control, and other days it runs my life.

CBT, breathing, exercise, and prayer have all been very helpful to me. The problem that I find is that when I am feeling good, I tend to abandon these resources, which is not a good plan. I need to remember that, even during good moments, the anxiety is only at bay and not completely gone, and I need to ALWAYS continue pursuing the resources.

I'm convinced that we can get past anxiety, but nonetheless it's part of who we are. I will overcome it, but it's always going to be a part of me. And it's my decision as to whether it makes me stronger or weaker.