Anxiety triggered with moving house

So I left my rental of 2.5 years because it was a heat box in summer, I didn’t want to leave because I was comfortable and secure as the landlords wanted a long term tenant. I liked feeling stable for once knowing that it was basically my home for decades to come but I left because I didn’t want my kids to suffer the heat.

I’ve moved into a newer place with air con etc but am miserable, I no longer feel safe and this will never be home. The set up of the house isn’t working out with my family and is causing me stress every minute I’m here and my only relief is when I’m not here. It’s aggravated my ocd and I feel very ill. I want my old place back so badly, I want to ask my previous landlords if I can move back in as they haven’t found new tenants yet and break the lease here. I could’ve just bought an aircon unit for old place instead of the money and stress of moving.

I don’t even care about being blacklisted for this place as long as I’m in old place paying rent. It’s completely humiliating calling the old landlords and I’m not sure if they’d want me back after my toddler drawing on the walls etc the whole thing needs re painting. I don’t think I could rent another place now and I don’t know what I should do. My anxiety is unbearable and I want out of this house.

I can’t see this being a place to settle in, the house itself isn’t practical for my young kids the layout is causing me stress and the neighbour has kept me awake every night since we moved in, I’ve tried talking to him and contacted real estate with no success and as a result my toddler is now living with his dad. My question is should I call the old landlords or accept it and move on, I’ll probably have to move in with my kids dad for a while.

MainerMikeBrown said...
It's common for those with OCD to feel very uncomfortable when moving to a new house or apartment. So you're not alone, Mad World.

Yes it’s very difficult, renting is hard because it’s unstable and also because you can’t get things exactly how you need it to be without asking permission. Im trying to find more stable ways of living and once I feel
Comfortable again somewhere I won’t want to move ever again.

I had high anxiety when I moved from my apartment into a house. I think that's a normal thing to get anxiety over as change is always hard. Even more-so for people like us. I don't think it would hurt asking your old landlords if you could come back. Worst case scenario is that they say no. You know what's best for you so if you're feeling some type of way about the new place and are that uncomfortable, losing out some may be worth it.