emotions and moods all over the place.....

One day I feel good, the next day I feel lost and confused. It can even vary from hour to hour. My husband is worried about me given my history these past 6 weeks. How can I reassure him that I'm ok, even when I'm down and that it's normal for me to feel this way. It doesn't mean I'll do something drastic. He wants me to talk to him and I'm trying. He makes it hard when I see the pain on his face. He's going back to work tomorrow and I know he's stressing beyond words. He's afraid to leave me alone. He has good reason. I haven't been very trustworthy for the last 6 weeks or so. I guess I can only prove it to him by staying safe, whether I'm depressed or anxious. We have a safety plan in place with phone numbers and alternative places for me to go, such as hang with my parents until he gets home.

He wants me to get out of the house more often and go walking or something. I'm usually in my pj's by 4pm. I'm most comfy and secure in my jammies. I promised him I'd try. I have an appointment with my couselor and I have to go up to school for some things, so tomorrow I'll be busy for awhile. I'm going to take a swimming class next semester and become more active. I'm trying to decide whether I'm ready to carry a full load (13 hrs), or drop one class and have 9 hrs instead. I'm kinda thinking that the best thing is to drop the one class. I don't want to overwhelm myself. Does anyone have any suggestions? I really need some help. I'm scared of failing and overdoing it while I'm still emotionally fragile.

I'm still coming to terms with my bipolar too and the adjustment of my meds for the third time in 6 weeks. In other words, the last 6 weeks have been hell for me and for my husband.

Thanks for any words of wisdom.

Hi Chelle, I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I can relate to the med changes.  Do you at least have a good psychiatrist?  Mine has led me astray.  Med changes and I'm no better off than when we started.  Do you take meds for bi-polar?  I'm glad that you have a plan and a supportive husband.  I am without a hubby and my family avoids emotions like the plague.  I'm afraid to show people my depression and have learned the hard way that most people (including family) are just fair-weathered friends.  As to you load, why not just do things that make you feel good?  Make a list.  Do you have a pet?  After my divorce, I just went to the dog park for an hour everyday and for that time I felt better.  Try not to sign up for too many things that require a committment b/c you might just end up beating yourself up for not being able to meet your and their expectations.  Keep posting.  We are here for you.  God bless.

hi,

I dont know much but I do know its never good to push yourself to limits and also to keep the communication between you and your husband open. Sometimes it really helps to talk or just to write it off. I do that quite a lot of times. I use to push myself constantly and set myself goals I knew deep down were not realistic.
Sometimes its just hard enough to breath let alone set targets that might make it even more difficult.

I really hope you feel better soon and just think...this too will pass...just hang in there !!

Hi chelle, i too am very moody and can change at the drop of a hat...its very annoying and can be hard on everyone, i wish you the best. Welcome smorzik, you have great input and i hope you stay and keep posting ;) Thank you
shell

Chelle - so proud of you!

Smorzik - Welcome to HealingWell and thank you for your input. Very important that we consider more than just meds and therapy in our recovery.

smorzik,

You have a lot of good information, how did you find all this out?

I am trying and succeeding in kicking my depression/anxiety without medication, but it is very hard.  I know I do not eat right and get enough exercise and I have no excuse for it other than my laziness, but most of the symptoms you talked about apply to me.  Please comment more on this and what you recommend for a diet.  If there are foods to stay from and such...

Thanks

smorzik, I've been inspired by your posts. I wish you could come over and show me some easy to make, healthy meals to make. I know that I have hypoglycemia and the docs never suggested that being the reason for my depression (probably just one of the reasons). However, the people closest to me knew before I knew. I'm constantly nagged to always have some kind of food or bar in my purse. I also get migraines so skipping a meal or going to long before food is a no-no. How does one go from being so depressed they can't cook dinner b/c they are barely functioning to eating like a Saint? Seriously, I'd like some tips.

Chelle, how are you feeling?

Healthy eating is essential
I do the same or did HM I would go days w/o eating no longer PLUS I have crohns so I need to watch food intake..I now eat healthy and do for Howies sake as well he is non insulin dep diabetic
great input
Take care all
Lyn

Hi smorzik, I think I hijacked someone else's post. I posted a new topic on A/P named "What do you do when you do not know what to do?" Will you please reply to me there? I really like your attitude and I'm inspired that you have been there and you pulled yourself out of it. I want to know more.

A little about me. I am a person who does NOT want to be depressed. I am into GROWTH...spiritual, personal, in all ways. I have broken a chain of abused woman but I have had some horrible influences that have scarred me and shaped my personality dysfunction to some degree. Most people would tell you that I am warm, caring and passionate. Even when I am depressed, I try to put that smile on. I look for every chance to laugh. I love to watch my dog play at the dog park.

I have to avoid migraine triggers like chocolate, dairy, alcohol, soy sauce, luncheon meat (anything with nitrates), bacon, aged cheeses, citrus fruits. This list goes on. But, the more "natural" my food is the better b/c the biggest trigger besides chocolate, alcohol and dairy is MSG.

These triggers are not the "cause" of migraines. Migraine is a disease like epilipsy. Even neruologist don't understand migraine. Your suggestions about a "regular" schedule are good for migrainers though. I need to work on that. Sometimes, I want to stay in bed or take a nap just to HIDE from the world. I have really been struggling. Wish I had the guts to end it. Something inside of me is not ready or I would have by now. It is just so painful to live right now. Not just b/c of depression but b/c of my circumstances. My circumstances are scaring me and I feel unable to process all of the emotions and feelings of loss sometimes.

Please write to me on my other post, okay? Thank you.

Chelle please do get in touch just so we know you are okay
We are thinking about you
Luvs
Lyn