need some support and kind advice

hi i have been suffering (understatement) with anxiety for a few months now...over the past week i have been panicking and having ridiculous anxiety. I still believe i can beat this but need a short time stabilised to come to terms with what has happened. my mind races so much everytime i think i can control or get a grip on the situation i manage to think of a way i cant...i have purely an anxiiety of anxiety but acepting it isnt helping as my symptons appear out of control at the moment..i feel as though i have had the rug pulled from under me. my symptons are racing thoughts and then the nightmarish terrors of things that usually i wouldnt find so scary. i am on citalopram which seems to do nothing at all. i am going to beg my doctor for a benzo tomoro it feels like my final hope....please tell me this gets more manageable i dont care about cure jus so long as i can get through each day w/o feeling as if im in some nightmare. can someone please just give me some support so as i dont feel so alone.. thankyou i just needed to vent

mulkin,,,hope that no one else feels as scared as me right now.x

thankyou i actually love you for that reply... my anxiety level is jus sky high its like nothing makes sense anymore,although it does. Just like i need a break. When i wake in the morning i feel more myself and think about the usual things i used to and i think il be okay now i can get through this. I jus cant get my mind of how i feel and i think of evrything ive done wrong and that i will never get out of this hole. I remember all bad times or scary experiences and forget how it feels to be normal and carefree. i dont even want to be carefree i dont mind moderate anxiety and dont even want to forget this experience as i know it will make me stronger. i will worry iand even question my coping methods. it seems like my subconscious is to smart for me sometimes if you know what i mean...
Please could you give me some insight into how you calmed down the sky high anxiety and racing thoughts. I just want to be able to think things like i love my mum without it make me worry about something. i know that sounds cheesy but i really need a way out of this hole.
thanksx

that does not sound cheesy at ALL.  i wish too that i could still go about daily living without having a horrible scary thought enter my mind.  i hate it.  one thing that helped me is the book titled 'brainlock' by Dr. Jeffrey Swartz.  it's for way to over come obsessive compulsive behavior (which is what i have).  but it gives you an insight into 4 steps that help to get rid of unwanted intrusive disturbing thoughts.  that helped calm me down, even though i don't follow them at the best of times.  it's so hard to block things from your mind, when your mind is the most powerful thing in your body!  i've tried to keep busy with other things to distract me.  pretty much, it took time, like i mentioned before, i've been suffering with this since september.  i get so depressed even thinking about september to about the end of october, because it was so bad, i hated even leaving the house.  it was not a happy time at all in my life.  like other people have mentioned regarding this situation, is that i hated living like this, but was terrified to die.  with me, it was one worry after another.  if my mind was racing of one scary thing, it would think of another scary thing to take the place of the current thought.  it was such a vicious circle and still is somtimes. i honestly thought i was going crazy, then i started panicing and thinking and getting images of me losing my mind, being stuck in a mental hospital, etc.  i hated waking up, because i knew it was going to be another day of suffering.   like i mentioned though in the previous email, these forums are what calmed me down so much.  i don't take meds, i'm against stuff like that, but it takes will power, something that i still have to work on!

Hi there
I am another like you
I do have benzo's I dont take ssri's for personal reasons but they do work IMO
I believe some ppl have anticipatory anxiety where they anticiapte all the bad is going to happen that can and sometimes I find that by me doing this thought pattern I usually do get a real bad Bumble up day ya know
I am severe OCD with cleaning and balancing and thoughts of dread or " Stinking Thinking" most of the s/t happens when I am trying to go to sleep so the doc put me on trazadone for that it helps me not to think about all the bad things or actually anything I take it with a Hot Milk at night and I am calmed all over and I go to sleep .....for a good 5 to 6 hrs ......thats my sleep pattern unless I am sick with other illnesses I have
Worrier has given you GREAT advice and I want to say thanks for all the input given

** to go to chat room go to the yellow at side where it says CHAT and then you will get to a place where you log in with your user name and Password and go to anxiety /Panic room from there
I hope I have helped in some small way
Take care and please KNOW you are not alone at all
Take care
Lyn

I had to delete that post due to duplicate posts all over forum ...........
Worrier...........caution k
Luvs ya
Lyn