Scared and crying all the time

I'm having a very rough time. To give a bit of history, I began having severe GI problems in September '06, was put through every test one can imagine. Nothing was found until very recently, I was found to have a dysfunctional, slow-emptying gallbladder which was supposed to be surgically removed yesterday. Unfortunatelyk, I developed tonsillitis 1.5 weeks ago and my surgery had to be cancelled. My anxiety level is through the roof, and I'm litterally sobbing often. I've been on 2 antibiodics, but the sore throat continues - perhaps it's viral. I'm probably overreacting, overly worried, but I have lost all faith and feel like this too will be an ongoing problem where I'll be seeing specialists, suffering months on end, etc. This may sound completely irrational, I understand, but it's an overwhelming feeling that I can't shake. I'm off work with the blessings of my superiiors but can't rest and relax because of this extreme anxiety - the crying and worrying keep me very awreck. I've always been a worrier and someone a bit anxious, but I've never b een this bad. The sadness is overwhelming. I wish someone could help me.

Hallo BethEllen,

I am so sorry you are suffering so much right now. I have been at the point you are at right now, feeling completely overwhelmed and crying at the drop of a hat.

You are not alone in how you are feeling. It is a frightening, out of control feeling when we begin to experience serious health problems. It sounds like things began fairly recently for you in September. What you are experiencing is your mind's natural response to the crisis in your body. So take a deep breath BethEllen! You need coping strategies! There are things you can do to help yourself and regain some control.

Being on the forum is a great start. Having a little time off work is good too. Even though you might not have an immediate cure for your illness, remember that there are things you can do in the meantime to help yourself heal. Your body probably needs lots of rest and lots of fluids. Are there any dietary restrictions you need to follow?

Remember that knowledge is power and it is time for gathering information about your illness. Make a list of all your symptoms. Do you feel your diagnoses are correct? Is there a link between any of the symptoms you are having ... the gall bladder, the tonsilitis, and the depression or are they separate issues?

It is a good time to learn as much as you can about the medications you are taking, their side effects and so on. Keeping a journal of symptoms and writing dates when you start and finish your meds might be a good idea. Setting up your meds and making sure you take them at the right time is a way you can help take care of yourself. When you visit the doctors make notes of everything they say or have someone with you to make notes. I guarantee it is not possible to remember everything clearly when you are not well.

This is a good time to reach out to those you think might be able to help you with practical support. Are there people around who can help you, family or friends? Are any of them willing to listen to your concerns. Can anyone take you to doctor appointments, or help you out with chores you are finding difficult because of your condition?

Are you on any kind of medication to help ease your depression and anxiety? It's not the best thing for everyone but I do think it can be a good temporary measure to help during a really difficult time. It also might help to think about seeing a counselor.

You might think this sounds too simplistic but there is nothing like a hot bubble bath, a refreshing cup of your favorite tea, a good chat with a friend and a decent nights rest. If you aren't sleeping well it's time to get that sorted out too! If the more natural remedies don't help a small dose of a prescription sleep aid can be a godsend.

Please hang in there BethEllen! You are not alone! I hope some of this helps you. :)

love,
graceann

Thank you so much, Graceann and Smiler, for your thoughtful and caring responses. It is so helpful to know you're not alone. It's very difficult to convey to someone who's never experienced this type of anxiety what it feels like. I know that tonsillitis and gallbladder dysfunction are not deadly disesease, and I really do try to keep that in perspective, but after 5 months of being ill, I'm so terribly low, discouraged, pessimistic that I'll ever feel normal again. A "normal" person would probably not think that way, which is why I'm having such severe anxiety/depression about it. I'm a mess. My wonderful life has been on hold for 5 months and counting - with no end in sight at this point. Well, thank you again for letting me know that I'm not alone with these feelings.

BethEllen

Thank you so much, Smiler. That's what I need right now - support from people who understand these feelings of anxiety.

BethEllen

Thanks so much, Lyn. I'm still sick with my same sorre throat - going to an ENT tomorrow. It's all probably viral but has me feeliing anxious, nonetheless. I'm so appreciative of the support I've received through the many postings. I do have family and friends who are supportive, but it's not the same as communicating with people who truly empathize with teh overwhelming and perhaps irrational feelings a extreme anxiety. It's hard to describe and explain to those who haven't experienced it.

I've actully been crying a bit less - not sure why. I'm trying to follow the wonderful advice I've received via the many postings and kind of force myself to relax and let things run their course in the hopes they will get better. Don't they have to? Anyway, Lyn, thank you again for taking the time to respond. I do hope that whatever health issues you're dealing with subside very soon. It's really true.....when you have your health, you have everything! I never appreciated that until now.

BethEllen

Hi, Nervymeg.

You are so right. When you're sick, everything is magnified and overwhelming. Deep down, I know you're right - this will pass, but it's very hard to fully believe it when feeling ill goes on and on and on....

I'm hopeful that by this time next year, I'll be looking back on all this as a very bad memory.

Thank you very much for your kind and rational words of support. They're appreciated more than you know.

BethEllen

I'm so glad I could help BethEllen, stay strong, it get's better!!! Promise!!