Just wanted you to know that i feel the same way as you. Everyone seems to be happy go lucky and I can't even plan a day to go out with friends....or pick my daughter up from school.
I was FINE (although I had mild anxiety throughout my life that didnt' stop me doing anything) until I caught a virus while waiting to get a flu shot in a church with 300 people. 3 days after the flu shot....I could barely lift my arms....my daughter (age 12 at the time) got the virus 10 days after I did...she did NOT have the flu shot.
My fatigue, muscle aches, feeling horrible, etc. was unbareable. The docs just said we had a virus and it would get better in a couple of weeks. It did not. It set up a chain of events that has not ended.... 2 years later. It is just accepted now. My daughter had to be schooled at home. She was so tired she could barely make it through the day. Her tests were negative except for a positive ANA and high sed rate...as I had. WE clearly were battling something. We were diagnosed with fibromyalgia, polymyalgia, lupus, mono (for my daughter) CFS and I have connective tissue disease...and I had MVP (mitral valve prolapse) for 30 years. From there I started getting severe panic attacks. I used to drive all over the state of Florida. NOW, I could barely drive across the street to the market without anxiety, fear, dread, etc.
2 years now. My daughter is better, but has Fibromyalgia, is in school and works part-time. She is constantly tired....but keeps pushing. They say that if you have fibro as a teen....you can usually get rid of it as an adult.
I am still going through flare-ups....that are dibilitating. I was taken to the ER so many times in the past 2 years because I felt like I was going to die. These past 6 months, I have learned to live with this feeling and when it happens, I take deep breaths and try to relax. I still have pain, and my muscles sometimes give out on me. I can't work. I never know when I will have a flare-up. I too look at my friends and family and want to travel, work, go out and laugh. It is a struggle everyday.
You are not alone. After doing so much research, many have correlated a gene that predisposes many to these diseases as well as panic attacks. Most Docs BLAME us and tell us to seek therapy. It is not our fault and I always feel like shrinking whenever my PCP looks at me like I am crazy....so I just go to him for colds etc. I have a web site that explains so much...if anyone is interested...please contact me. I am here......Tova