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Posted 9/6/2007 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
hi,

I have a question for people who suffer from agoraphobia. I have severe agoraphobia myself and I am so tired of being a prisoner of my own house that I think that even what I fear outside is not worst than the loneliness and boredom I experience at home. So my question is WHAT IS YOUR WORST FEAR? What could happen "there" that you fear. In my case I fear that I am going to choke to death or faint and be smashed by a truck or something... and I also fear I will panic so hard that I will be far from home and unable to speak, call anybody, I will just go crazy and stay all night on the street because I will just be frozen with fear.
When I write it down it seems stupid but agoraphobia is not rationnal is it? eyes
Posted 9/6/2007 5:51 PM (GMT 0)

Hello,

My worse fear when I did not want to leave home was breaking down in public with an anxiety attack and start to cry. I felt safe at home and protected by my husband and my sweet dobermans.

Looking back now I can see how bad I was and how far I have come.

Take care

Posted 9/6/2007 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi.
I guess my fear was freezing up, sweating panicking falling over - it was vague actually, i just had an image of 'losing it' so badly i would lose my mind..get locked up, i dont know...
Just wondering - have you read Dr Claire Weekes - 'self help for your nerves'? It was only thorugh reading and practising her 'acceptance' method (my words not really hers) that i recovered from agorophobia an dpanic disorder maybe as severe as yours. Its quite a funny old fashioned book but her style is so comforting and reassuring its like being taken by the hand by a friend and led gently into feeling better.
Wierdly, i also found i could ride a bike outside but not walk! If i walked i got dizzy, panicked, the pavements heaved. But not on a bike! My point is its ok to use any kind of prop for a while at least - be it dark glasses, a dog, something heavy (I know it sounds mental). You never know what might help a little bit even to go to the end of the road or garden path!
I want you to know - i am ABSOLUTELY better now. Im 35, and i suffered from the age of 24 to about 30. Dont ever think that this is forever. One day you'll look back and feel so proud at what youve acheived. I really think also that this whole experience can make us stronger, more empathetic, spiritual (in whatever sense that may apply!) people.
Posted 9/6/2007 10:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hey. I am not agoraphobic, but I do have a fear. My worst fears are people, talking, failure, and hurting myself. I know that sounds bad. I will explain.

I fear people because I don't like to be around people, groups, assembles, anything like that. I hate going to school because I can't stand the classroom with so many people. Or the hallways, or lunchroom, or gym, or games, anything like that. When I am around people like that I feel very scared. Shakey. Nervous. Hot. Racing thoughts. My heart pounds.

I fear talking like in front of groups. I can't stand up in front of anyone. I also have a very very hard time talking about my feelings or thoughts. I am seeing my counselor now and I have a very hard time opening up to her and being totally honest about my feelings.

I fear failure at just about anything. I freak out over a test at school. I fear failing the test. Which happens from time to time. Then, I beat myself over it. I also fear failing at life. I am pretty sure this won't happen(at least I hope), but I feel like it is something I can't control.

I fear hurting myself, obviously, because I don't want to hurt myself. I am pushed to the edge sometimes where I want to explode and make everything come to an end. I get so fed up with people and things and, honestly, life in general. BUT, I have self-control so..but I fear hurting myself because I fear getting worse. Like, what will happen if one day I am worse and snap and can't control myself? What if I am not thinking like 'myself'? That's why I fear hurting myself.

I feel like these are pathological fears. Because I have tried to control them, but I can't seem to. So, these are my fears! Thanks.  

Posted 9/7/2007 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
When I was agoraphobia, my biggest fear was of fainting. Why, because I fainted 3 times during a PA. I was in my late teens/early 20's at the time.
I'm now 41 and am not house bound anymore (haven't been for 20 yrs), but still fear fainting.
It's funny what we fear never happens.....maybe I fear winning the lottery b/c that never seems to happen either ;-)

And Jen what you say about "I am so tired of being a prisoner of my own house that I think that even what I fear outside is not worst than the loneliness and boredom I experience at home"

That is the EXACT reasoning I used to get over my agoraphobia. All my friends were doing great stuff and I was at home.
There was a time when I met some ppl from NYC and they were in a band. They were always asking me to drive to NY to go see them and I was like "Are you nuts, I cannot even drive to the corner"
Well one yr later, I thought to myself "hmm, the fear of driving over the border (I'm in Canada) and driving 500 miles is SO less fearful than being in this house. So I went! I was terrified, but had so much fun.
That was a huge turning point for me. I then went down about 15 more times after that.
I also drove to Philly (8hr for me) alone 2 yrs ago to meet friends I met on line. Oh I was scared, but what a great therapy session that was.
Everything is practice, but the reasoning you gave here will cure you, I promise. Just keep thinking that way.....b/c this thinking and not being hit by a truck, is reality.
Keep strong

Jen (also) ;-)
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