Having a bad day - wish I could just curl up and This DD Be Gone

I guess this post won't be much more than a rant and self-pity.  For that, I'm going to apologize now for that.  I have tried to be so positive most of the time, but today just isn't it.

My kids have a busy week this week with functions of things they are involved in.  My daughter plays volleyball and yesterday was their first home game.  I really wanted to see her play and she really wanted me there.  I told her that I would give it a shot and go.  I did go and stayed through the whole thing.  Although, it took every ounce of me to keep myself in control and not run out of there or have a panic attack.  Since I'm not driving, of course my husband was there too - which helped a little.

Then we went home for a quick supper and for my daughter to get her homework started.  I took an Ativan while we were home to help myself calm down.

My son, along with 5 or 6 other students, was asked by the Superintendent to help out having an Internet Safety event parents and kids.  Sadly, only a few people turned out for this.  I really wanted my daughter to be there because she just has no clue what can happen to kids in chat rooms, IM's, etc.  I've talked to her about it, but I wanted her to hear it from others.  She's rarely on the computer, except to do research or other things for school.  So I don't have to worry to  much yet - but soon I will and I want her to have this knowledge.  So we went to this event, it was very informative and interactive which helped me a little bit because I was somewhat distracted from just wanting to run out of there.

Today, I feel totally worn out and I'll be totally honest by saying it pisses me off.  I should have been able to go to those two events without feeling like I do today.  Now tonight the Fire Department is having an open house that my son needs to attend because he is on the Explorer Team.  He wants me to be able to go to that to - I'm not sure that I can.  I feel so guilty because I'm just not sure that I can go.  It's just not fair.

I hate this DD and I want it to go away and leave me alone!! 

Thanks for letting me vent.

Wen

Hey hun just changed a couple of words in Title  k .....Email me if you dont understand why

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/11/2007 6:59:59 AM (GMT-6)

As I've said before, I love being a part of this very supportive family.  Thank you for your replies.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to pull myself together to go to the Fire Department for my son.  I feel very guilty about that, I should have gone, but I just couldn't.  I was exhausted from the day before - both physically and emotionally and I just didn't have it in me to go.  I apologized to my son for not going, he said it was okay and that he understood, but I could tell he was disappointed that I didn't go. 

Kitt, I wish I could have done what you said - I really wanted to go, but was just too emotional from the day before.  I sincerely hope that I haven't disappointed you too.  I know my family is disappointed in me.

Wen