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I can't do it and I feel so guilty.

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Posted 10/11/2007 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
It's the school holidays over here and I really wanted to take the kids to the zoo. Hubby said 'boring' and talked the kids into Luna Park lots of people and noise plus I don't do rides. We then were meant to wander around China town and look at the shops.

My little girl keeps saying to me "I'm so excited" but I just can't do it. I don't want to face Luna Park, I'm already more anxious because it's getting closer to my next hospital stay and withdrawal, my hormones are also at their worse.

I feel so guilty but really can't face a 80 minute drive then hours at the place, how do I explain it to my 6yr old?

Posted 10/11/2007 3:31 AM (GMT 0)

Put a positive spin on it somehow.  Was your hubby going to take the kids anyhow even if you don't go?  Six year olds can be bribed into doing something else they like to do, something that you can attend that is not so stressful..............a movie, the beach or park, picnics, so try to think of a substitute with a promise to try to do the other at a different date.

Please do not feel guilty as I had many times for months where just leaving the house caused me severe anxiety thinking about it.  My husband had to drive me anywhere and I would be in high anxiety until we were back on the road home.

Gentle Hugs to you. Keep posting.

Posted 10/12/2007 7:01 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Aussie,

i agree with Kitt, dont feel guilty because you cant do things, Ive been agoraphobic for nearly 12 months, and actually missed my daughters first day of primary school, and the school is just in the next street. Even though you do feel bad, just remember its not your fault, and things WILL get better with time.

I myself am just managing to go out the front of my house and go for short walks. It takes time, but well worth the wait...

Hope things get better for you soon.. :-)

Posted 10/12/2007 12:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aussie,

 

I too agree with Kitt.  It's hard to let the kids down - I myself have had the same kind of dilemmas this week.  Try to use some of the suggestions Kitt gave you - 6 year-olds are easier to persuade to do other things, their attention can easily (usually) be redirected to something else.  Just pick a couple of things that you know you would be able to handle ok and give her those to choose from.  Then you can both get to have some fun that won't be so stressful for you.

 

Please don't beat yourself up or feel guilty (I should practice what I preach tongue ).  This is not something you asked for and you just have to deal with it and work on it the best you can.  I know it's hard for young kids to understand these things, but if you can describe to her how you feel about places like Luna Park using words that she can understand at her age, it might help her to understand it a little better.  She'll forget it and you'll have to explain again, but that's ok - you're just reinforcing it her.  But don't forget to tell her that you are working on getting better and you'll be to do more things as time goes on.

 

I actually had a similar talk with my teenagers last night, because my son is very worried about me and I'm trying to ease that worry for him.  But they both are trying to understand how things are for me and they seem to be doing a pretty good job at too.  Sometimes they get disappointed if I can't attend a function of theirs, but they say they understand why.  I know my kids are quite a bit older than yours, but the explanations are somewhat similar.

 

I hope this helps a little - let us know how it goes.  :-)

Wen 

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