Express Yourself!

WARNING: LONG! Ok, so I carry this piece of paper with me and when I feel the need to express my feelings I write down whatever comes to mind. I don't check it or revise it. I write the first thing about what I am feeling or an experience that is going through my head. So, when I can't stop thinking about something, I write it down. Just thought I would share some of my chicken scratch with you guys.

#1

Escaping the world in a different way

engulfed with the feeling of death

breath taken away like candy from a baby

feelings of insecure fright wash over

reality is stripped from within reach

the worlds turns like a merry-go-round which never slows

the overpowering loss of control and even balance

thoughts race at the speed of light

 

senses flee and become useless

time comes to a hault in the real world

existence only in another state of dimension

soon life comes flooding back

the world in reality returns to its normalcy

its over as quick and sudden as it began

but the memory of its horror will always exist within

(I think I was thinking about the panic attack I had last week when I wrote this one. I kind of close my eyes and feel it, and then write down whatever I am feeling...)

#2

I see you laughing and smiling daily

Your world seems so different from mine

I wish I possessed the glow you have

Your calming energy exerted on others

The warmth of your smile that brightens my day

If only only I could be this way

You are always there for me

With gentle words of which you speak

(I don't guess I finished this one. Something must have interrupted my thought. But, I think I was thinking of my best friend at the time...)

 

#3

its the sense of being stuck inside a black hole

alive without the sun

veins chilled running cold

all alone in existence

standing in the shadow of unknown

reality nor truth is present

the literal feeling of a storm cloud frozen overhead

the warmth of others blocked by an invisible force

color no longer exists but in black and white

a heavy fog trapping what used to be

like a human within a turtle shell

frightened to come out and face the world

forced to deal with the world in a hidden unwanted way

my world no longer turns nor is it vivid and open

but it exists seperate from others secretly

the uniqueness showing in an extreme way

sure...laugh because I am different

but it is you who I laugh at

...you are the same as everybody else

(well, I guess I was thinking about depression and my life in general...sad I know, but I feel better expressing it in words on paper. Writing it down really helps.)

#4 (last one!)

it strikes without warning

uncontrollability thrust upon me

fighting the force of mind

the knowledge of right from wrong

standing up against myself

I take in my hand hatred

hatred causes bad things to happen

wanting to escape this horrible episode

my mind does not comply

it moves forward like an army

destroying everything in its path

I am forced to fight this destruction alone

I am my own immune system

fighting for myself

pain caused by hatred within my flesh

for one single moment pain does not exist

when reality returns there is no going back

for the extent is irreversible

it comes but now it is gone

pain and fear within worrying when it will strike next

while the world continues on around me

unknowing and silent

living with constant fright and worry

with every ounce of strength I push forward

until at any moment hatred stikes again

once again putting my world on hold

(Ok, well, I used hatred alot but thats not what it is about. Hatred is a symbol of all the bad things that can happen. Use your imagination as to what I may be talking about. I had one thing in mind while writing this, but I am keeping that to myself.)

Well, anyways, my point is that no one should have to hold there feelings in. But, even if you feel alone and have no one to talk to, or choose not to talk to anyone, you can still get it out. Just sit, think, and write it down. Think hard about what you experience daily, or what bothers you most and just write it down and a scratch sheet of paper. It helps alot. I carry scratch paper with me everywhere. When I get the urge to write, I write. I have papers everywhere with writings on them. Even dinner napkins! But, hey, I express myself in that way. And you dont have to be a good writer at all. Just write what you feel, think, and believe. No one else has to see it. You can write it and shred it if you desire! Well, anyways, this is long enough, I just wanted to share my way of expressing myself and encourage others to express themselves as well.

Thanks for your time. Everyone take care and have a great day! Express yourself!

This is a great way to express yourself and good for others as well

I have a book of writings I do as well ........

Maybe we can start a thread with some shorter versions of what is on my or your mind .......


Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts........glad you feel comfortable and cozy within the family unit
LYN

Your welcome liquid. I was hoping my post would help someone! Writing really helps getting things out of my mind and on paper. I know they are real because I can write it down and read it. I enjoy going back and reading the things I have written. It is sometimes weird because I dont feel the same and sometimes I am reminded of how I felt before. But, when your mind is racing write it all down. It helps cope so that you don't get to overwhelmed by it and so that your head doesn't explode.

Another thing I do is paint. I am very creative and I enjoy being alone in the quiet. I like to think. Writing down your feelings is great, and so is painting your feelings. It sounds weird or hard, but it is very simple. You can either pick colors you enjoy or colors that represent how you feel. Some of my paintings come out with such vibrant colors, others come out dark and gloomy. Depending on how I feel. You don't have to be good or creative. Just get some paint, a brush (or the more fun way, use your fingers!), a piece of paper and just start putting the colors on there. Think about how you feel and just go from there. You probably wont know where to start or what to do, but thats ok, just start painting and let your feelings lead you. Mix colors, smear it all around, it is stress-relieving and peaceful. (most of the time) And it gives you something to do that gets your mind off of other things. I have sat in the floor painting for 9 hours straight before!

I wouldn't recommend it. It is very painful sitting in the floor. But, I recommend painting and writing. Even if they seem cheesy and it isn't your thing. Give it a try. Maybe it is your thing and you might enjoy it. Maybe listen to some music you enjoy and paint. For me, that is even better.

Well, I have taken up enough time, but I wanted to give some ideas on how to get some thoughts out and be calm and relaxed. It helps me and it could help you. If you decide to try either one, I hope it works for you. And try to enjoy it. If you write anything, the rest of us would love to hear it! I put a few of mine, and I don't even know how to write! So, just have fun, relax, and enjoy. Take care, have a GREAT weekend, and remember, just express yourself!

That's a great idea. Basically, my blog was supposed to be about that. And kind of is. My theory is that creative expression is a form of therapy for anxiety disorders because, let's face it, anxiety is basically the creative mind going out of control. If you focus the creative mind by doing something writing, you can control anxiety. It's sort of like CBT in that your goal is to replace bad thoughts with productive ones.

It's a whole way of life, really.