Hi Bill, I have only been on this forum since September, so don't have a long history of knowing you on here. However, you have described your struggles very well a number of times, and I would have...
Hi Mogli, I am sorry things are so rough. The holidays do quite a number on so many people, stirring up guilt where it should not be and the pressure to do things we might not be able to do. Focus on...
I am with you on that one Not2L8. I don't like having a new me either at all. I don't understand what changed that I became bipolar at age 44. It is something I continue to struggle to accept....
Bill, You are such a good encourager. The following that you wrote means a lot to me: Thats why i said you need time to grieve. To grieve the person you where who was lost. And time to learn the...
Wolflover, It took courage to make this decision and I am so glad you did and that you are safe. And that you are feeling better. Sun...
Not2L8 that is fantastic! It can really take a while to get the meds right, particularly the cocktail but I am so glad you are feeling better. We have a similar med combo - mine are a little higher....
Hi and welcome! Usually helpful to tell us a little more about yourself and if you have a question or issue you would like to discuss. Sorry to hear about the colitus on top of everything else....
I did know joy. I did give joy. Now I feel like I cannot find joy even in something as beautiful as a rainbow. I don't know that I give joy anymore. I don't feel like I give much of anything. I wish...
I would definitely talk with your pdoc about this. Most people with bp are on more than one med to help with different types of symptoms. I am surprised you are not on some anti-psychotic, such as...
I have short-term memory problems - was trying to memorize a poem the other day and had it down. Tried to remember it several hours later and couldn't. It is very frustrating - really hard time with...
I am on lithium and have the same experience - used to be worse than now. Pay-off for a medication which stabilizes me....
Thank you for this idea Mogs. I am proud of myself for not completely falling apart yet on this moving week....
My day consists of waking up, packing for move next day, going to sister-in-law's for thanksgiving meal mid-day, rolling ourselves home and packing. We are lucky that we don't have to fix or clean up...
I am with Tort and DoUtriponair. I think they have it down. I was in a mixed episode for much of last year climaxing with me ending up in the hospital. I find agitated depression to be a very good...
I am sorry you are in such a tough spot. Most of us on this forum have been or are where you are. I certainly have been there. I think it is important to work very closely with your pdoc. If he/she...
slz, this issue is a really good one to work on in therapy. you may already be in therapy, but if not I would suggest weekly therapy. Developing a strong relationship with a skilled therapist can...
Good place to let it out Chuck. You sound more resolved to end it than you did in your earlier post, like you have given up at this point. Do you think she is signalling she is o.k. with ending it to...
B., I am familiar with trazedone but not with temezepam. I also have to take medication to sleep. I used to take ambien, then klonipin, and now I take halcion. My dr. prescribed halcion to me because...
sounds like fun - a lot of fun. you are so creative. not exercising right now because 1) have done something to my knee - can't kneel and it feels really strange; 2) am losing all sense of having...
Allison Jane, I just ordered the book Radical Acceptance. Looks really good. Thanks again!...
Allison Jane, Thanks for your posting, empathy and suggestions. I know I should practice meditation. I have done centering prayer with regularity before in the past, which is like meditation. But...
Thank you for sharing all of that Not2L8. That is a lot to come to terms with and I don't have to tell you that it is a process. It does sound like you have an understanding dr., and the new...
I am afraid I can't be much help on the question "Does it ever get better?" as I am right there with you, although I do not feel tempted to hurt myself. And I must say it has gotten some better from...
I did not do well with Topomax. My pdoc gave it to me to counter the weight gain with the other meds. Even with that as an incentive, I could not stay on it. I can't remember exactly why - I think it...
This is a situation where at this point you might each be healthier if separated. She is looking for a job which implies functioning at some level. And I think you said she has encouraged you to get...
typo in there - I meant to say "you just CAN'T be everything and do it all for them." Again, I repeat grace. It is normal for you to feel this way as a parent of children with needs such as yours,...
Cateyes, I have a son with bipolar disorder and adhd. It is very difficult. Our son went to a therapeutic boarding school for a while and fortunately that made a huge difference. But I think you are...
Tortoise - so glad quitting work was a good move for you and that you are exploring disability now. I am also glad you tried the job so you can feel more sure as you go into the disability process...
Oh and Tortoise, I didn't realize that you had quit your job! I wondered when you said getting rid of something. I would imagine that is a relief and disappointment. How are you doing with that?...
Thanks for your responses! You all are so kind and faithful. TTU, I appreciate the encouragement. I need a life coach myself! Unfortunately both hiring a life coach or training as a life coach (which...
Chuck, You are in such a difficult spot with so much going on and medical needs on both sides. It is like the marriage has just been overwhelmed by dealing with illness and you haven't had a chance...
I am amazed at all you are doing and so impressed with your educational plan. It sounds like it is important to preserve that plan and opportunity. Like Tortoise I wonder if there is one thing you...
I am with everyone else on this. I have had mixed episodes and ended up in the hospital due to suicidal thinking. I checked myself in. TTU is right - you are young and once you get stabilized there...
Allison Jane, Welcome to the forum. I am glad you are reaching out and hope that you will find support and friendship on here. It does sound like you are doing a lot of good things to to take care of...
TTU, Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions. I have been in therapy for years and one would think that I would have covered everything enough by now. I think what is going on is that this whole...
Thank you MMMNAVY and tortoise. MMMNAVY, your suggestions are appreciated and helpful. We get Netflix and have been watching reruns of the show Monk. Love it and it helps. I am not good though about...
tortoise, i'm sorry. this just sucks....
I am going down and it is scaring me. I can't seem to stop it. Negative tapes, shame, terrible shame, no self-worth and feeling like I can't pull out of this. That going down like this again is a...
Thank you for your response and encouragement, Bill. When faced with overwhelming circumstances, I find it easy to lose faith in the power of small steps, but I do think that is when focusing on...
Caren, Thanks for telling us about your group. Is this a group unique to your area or are there redhatter groups in other cities? Until this year, I worked so many hours that aside from my best...
TIm, Hope that Wellbutrin will be a positive addition. A lot of people swear by it. Sun...
Hi Mogli, I think you have done very well and in a way this is a letting down, plus worrying about money and going through everything with your mom. Just remember to focus just on putting one foot in...
Thank you. And I like how you make it something that is not overwhelming - like doing laundry. One good change creates another. I like that....
Thanks for checking in on me. I have been on here less because of being distracted by upcoming move. Less than 3 weeks! I have been doing Flylady - on day 11 or 12? But getting bogged down some with...
wolflover, thank you for letting us know what is going on. this must be awful - you know you need help and yet getting yourself there must feel overwhelming for you... I am sure it is overwhelming. i...
Hi Lost, What a heartbreaking situation you are in. I am glad you wrote as much as you did as it helps give background and I hope it helped you get it out. It does sound like your wife has some sort...
Thanks, Tortoise. I actually am quite amazed at what a difference doing the shiny sink makes. We get the kitchen cleaned up after meals and generally wiped down, but I never intentionally made sure...
sounds like you are getting a good workout! Are you feeling better?...
Do try to call his doctor and at least talk to the nurse. I know they can't tell you whether he is a patient there or not, and you can tell them you understand that, but also tell them it is a crisis...
Well, how about that. Good to learn something new. Well, at least she is aware enough of the problem to her pdoc and therapist about it - that indicates she is trying to get help. After you wrote...