Dutchie and I are still working on things. She is about half way through her schooling and is doing extremely well. In the first semester she was top in her class and had a 4.0 gpa. Over the last few...
Thanks you Mogs. The depression comes and goes, more anxiety right now with the change of Dutchie going to school full time. I am taking my meds but not really enjoying it. I can't take them the same...
Thanks for the thoughts everyone. We went to the councellor today and she asked me if my thoughts of leaving were still there and was expecting a long drawn out answer from me, I simply told her that...
Thanks for the kind words. We really need good people like all of you in our lives for support and thoughts of well being for us. I have an appointment with our doc but it isn't until January. We...
We talked to our councellor about the letter. She liked it but we are going to tweak it in a couple of parts. The thought of writing to his wife is something we both are really on the fence about....
Your story has a lot of similarities to mine. My wife was dx'd in June and now takes Lithium. We have been very lucky that her first med has been the correct med and has stabilized her. I will share...
Very insightful LFW. I talked to Dutchie about what you said and she agreed (at least on her part). What does everyone else think? Dutchie wrote a letter to him. The letter basically states that she...
Dutchies birthday was a very difficult day for her, not totally because of our situation but because that morning I was leaving for work and she noticed that she had lost my wedding ring. For the...
LFW: Feel flattered. We interact the same way I do with our councellor. Dutchie gets a kick out of our sessions with the councellor because we each talk very openly and if something needs to be said...
Welcome wife of NA. Please put the artillery away. By reading your husbands postings it is very easy to be angry and hurt and betrayed, but if you look at it from his perspective you will see that he...
So we went to our councellor the other day and discussed the ups and downs of the week. She wants to discuss the idea that I am suffering from depression. This is not anything new to me since in the...
Thanks for the info Mogs. Dutchie went to her doc today and discussed the idea of going to school. He thought it was a great idea and said he would supply any notes she needs to make it happen. She...
Dutchie: 11/11/1969 FBF: 24/7/1970...
Hi Mogs. Hope school is going well. I have some questions about school. I know from a previous posting that you are from Ontario as we are, you may have some info that could help us out. Dutchie will...
Ladies: I understand your views, and in some ways I see you are correct but in a lot of ways I realize that you are seeing our situation through a computer monitor and not living it so you don't see...
Thanks for the thoughts LFW. It has been a very difficult week. We went to our councellor yesterday and talked a lot about my feelings of wanting to move on. I don't like to talk so openly about how...
I honestly don't see what good it would do to talk to more people about our situation. They won't understand the bp and will focus on just the affair. I know my opinion when I have heard of someone...
Dasa: Dutchie has talked at length about the racing thoughts that made her turn every bad thing or hurtful thing in her life (real or not) into something that I had caused. She says that she truelly...
Hello atwindsend_wife, I am married to a bp spouse, she was dx in June and like you we have been married for 15 years and have 2 kids. Has your husband been diagnosed properly? Is he on meds and does...
By blind trust I mean simply trusting in the unknown, not turning a blind eye to everything. Trusting that if there is a problem it will be openly discussed and not hidden. As I have said, I did...
Over the years I did question situations and voiced my feelings of unhappiness, it was always met with Dutchie stating that everything was fine, there were no problems. It isn't like our entire...
LFW - You are straight forward as usual - it is appreciated and I do take it as a friend trying to help. Dasa - Welcome, thanks for the insight and honesty. I see Dutchie making progress and in no...
Letting some of the pain go would be nice, but when your thinking it will just lead to more it makes it very difficult. I am very hard on myself, I always have been, I expect a lot from myself and I...
Thanks for the thoughts Mogs. I have read your other posting and I hope you find peace, I know you will because we all can see your strength, just believe in it. Posting on HW is very helpful, you...
Welcome soundguy. I wish we could have met under better circumstances but it's helpful to hear from someone in the same situation as me. I'm glad you found this site, it is helpful, you will find...
As far as Dutchie purging things. I have always put myself and my feelings secondary to my family. Yes the things we have talked about have been hurtful but I would much rather have her get rid of...
I got done work this morning at 7. Dutchie took the girls to school at 9 and then we sat around and talked until 1. Kind of a difficult talk. We talked a lot about the affair. Stuff that was very...
The unknown a lot of times is a lot worse than reality. This is what I struggle with when I am at work. When I am at home I feel a sense of control of the situation, not being controlling, just the...
Dutchie mentioned the other day that she wished you lived close by. She says that when she reads your posts of when you are down she just wants to give you a big hug and try to get you through it....
I just finished my two day shifts. Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Today was a lot more difficult. Dutchie left a message at work at 9:20 that she wasn't feeling great today,...
Dutchie takes Lithium and she has not gained weight. Now this is not simply because it hasn't had that affect but the fact that she has made a lifestyle change. She has lost at least 20 lbs. since...
LFW - You give such great advice but do you honestly think that someday I would actually think of thanking him? I understand the meaning behind your words, the thought that a mistake was the thing...
We are all proud of you for the strides you are making to improve your life by going to school. Don't let the weight of the world (school,bf) get to you, stay focussed on your goals and take...
My wife is bp (dx'd in June - Lithium 900mg). To be honest your story sounds like my wife before she was diagnosed. I read your posting twice and the similarities is see are: 1) I knew there was a...
I have a lot of worries about this coming Thursday. The girls are back in school and I will be working days on Thursday and Friday (12 hour shifts). During the summer it has given me a lot of...
Thanks for the thoughts LFW and olivia, they are much appreciated and much needed. Our camping trip went pretty good overall. I must admit that when I arrived at the campsite (I had been working) I...
Haven't heard from you in a while. How is school going?...
LFW stated that looking at postings from Dutchie (I am her husband) and Mogli might help you understand the effort it takes for your wife to get to a place that is healthy. First off, does she take...
Why is the posting "a lot to deal with" locked?...
Dutchie left about a half hour ago to go to a support group. It is the first time she has attended and she is very nervous. For the first time in a long time I feel nervous for her. The group is more...
A questionaire from a family physician isn't a great way of being dx'd. They are called general practioners for a reason. My wife was dx'd a few months ago, when she saw our family doctor he referred...
Listen to your councellor. Being verbally abusive can be much more damaging than physical abuse. Your probably thinking that I shouldn't be giving advice on this topic with all the negative things...
LFW - I didn't address in my last posting the issue you brought up about my resposibility in all of this. I do recognize my part in all of this. I told Dutchie a few months ago that I recognize now...
LFW - You seem to be under the impression that I am constantly grilling Dutchie about our situation. It is far from that. I post my feelings and thoughts about the negative things because the good...
Welcome back LFW. Your honesty and straight forward words are appreciated as always. You bring up very good points. I have listened to Dr. Phil with his "do you want to be right or do you want to be...
Can bp change according to the situation that your in? I'll try to explain what I mean. With all the reading I have done on this site and others I see people being in total manic states and others in...
I don't want my postings to come across as I am right and she is wrong. I don't want anyone taking sides. I do constantly try to approach things seeing it from Dutchies perspective and ask her to do...
I did read Dutchies post while at work last night. I didn't respond as I had barely slept and I didn't want to overreact to anything. I have slept now and will respond with my opinions. I did ask...
Through all of this I have learned a great deal about myself. I always knew that sometimes my words can come across as harsh and judgemental. I have explained to Dutchie that they are never meant as...
Hey Mogs, I read through your posting today at work, I hope your doing ok. One thing I noticed is that you feel alone, and yet I see all the replies you have got in a short amount of time. You have a...