reffinoon, sounds like there are a lot of things swirling around right now in your life and in your boyfriend's life. You care for him, and are concerned about his desire to "get better", whatever...
Sounds like you're making some really good moves and taking steps towards finding work that suits you. You are applying regularly, which can be productive, if nothing else than for the practice. How...
You're going through quite a bit at the same time. It can be a lot to handle. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now! If you want to talk, I'm happy to listen....